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Camp Widow Serendipity . . .

Posted on: March 22, 2023 | Posted by: Kathie Neff

… a story.

Hands holding one rock each with the word "Integrity" painted on each rock.
Two widows, two rocks, two husbands, and integrity twice remembered.

It was September of 2022 in Denver at the local community college. A widow, finding no support options in Mississippi, arrives via a road trip where Soaring Spirits is offering a one-day program for widowed people. What was she thinking when she arrived? She did not know a soul and discovered the program online. Exhausted by grief, and the long drive, she stands under the stairwell to catch her breath.

A different widow, at the same location, flew in the night before from Riverside, California. Her widowed brain sorted through the doubt that was her new best friend since losing her person. As a Camp Widow ambassador she was there to watch for new “campers” coming in that may look lost, or overwhelmed. Her new friend, doubt, asked: Would she know the right thing to say?

each one “taking a big step” to show up

Everyone present, those receiving help for the first time since their loss and those who’ve attended a Soaring Spirits event and arrive to help others; each make their own version of “taking a big step” to show up in the hope of tending to the crippling grief of losing their person. A surprise element often arrives: serendipity.

Definition of serendipity: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

The two widows meet under the stairwell and find immediately that they both lost their husbands and have come to Camp Widow to begin to sort out their grief; to look their grief in the eye and ask the hard questions. Coffee may have been offered; details for the day exchanged. The widow there for the first time moves on to the registration table while the second widow watches for anyone who appears lost or in need of a friendly face.

each come to Camp Widow to begin to sort out their grief

It’s impossible to describe what happens next, but those who’ve attended a Camp Widow event describe it as life-changing. Inspirational talks, self-selected, relevant workshops that include tips for what to do when you are crying suddenly over something. How to muster courage to keep going.

The two widows find each other after the closing activity. They are surprised to find that the rocks they created featured identical words for their husbands—integrity.

Two widows holding identical rocks.
Colorado Camp Widow Pop-Up September 2022

As if that is not enough synchronicity for one story, fast forward to Camp Widow Tampa this past weekend. Melody and Kathie (the names of said widows) meet-up at the beginning of the weekend, neither knowing that the other would be there.

a deja vous moment

Each widow followed the path of her needs and occasionally they would see one another and wave or grab a quick hug. Several times they share the story of how they met at the pop-up in Colorado and wrote the same word for their husbands.

On the last night, which provided another opportunity to say our person’s name and honor them, we picked from four words written on a shamrock: Faith, hope, joy, and love.

In a final moment of serendipity, linking Colorado 2022 to Florida 2023, my new friend and I unknowingly picked the same word! Joy!

Two widows holding paper shamrocks that say "Joy"
Melody and Kathie – Camp Widow, Tampa – March 2023

And that, my friends, is synchronicity!

Long live Camp Widow!

Long live love!

Categories: Widowed, Newly Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Community

About Kathie Neff

Kathie Neff was widowed on April 15, 2021. She and her beloved husband, Dan, were high school sweethearts and enjoyed dancing and riding horses together. They lived in gratitude, hope and forgiveness for 50 years and nine months when Dan passed quietly late at night, surrounded by their seven children who, with Kathie, were caring for him in their family home.

Dan and Kathie have been a part of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits International since its inception, as members of Michele Neff Hernandez’s cadre of helpers from the Neff family.

Kathie believes strongly in the strength and bond that is the gift of community and brings a heart of love for all who have been affected by death and dying.

Long live love. XO

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