I go through these phases where I feel like Boris is sending me signs, or sometimes I call them “winks”, and then there are long periods of time where I feel like I get nothing. I feel like he isn’t out there, or he isn’t trying to communicate with me at all. And, sometimes I feel that the signs were never really real in the first place–this is when I feel very pessimistic and disconnected from him.
But, lately, I feel like I have been getting a lot of Boris winks! Some of them I can’t even describe in words without it sounding silly, but when they happen I just know. I hear the song or I see the words or the little inside joke reference. And, sometimes I think, that could just be a coincidence. But, other times it feels like there really is no another explanation. And he has been showing up in my dreams more often again–one dream, in particular, was very striking and memorable–and it feels like he was sending me a message. I think this time of year brings up a lot of emotions for me with his birthday in March and his death anniversary in April, so that could be why. I also wonder if being in a new (my first post-loss) relationship is another reason why–I have been having a hard time wrapping my brain around a new person and wrestling with what Boris might think.
I hope everyone who needs a sign or a wink from their person will get one soon. I know not everyone believes in them, and that is ok! But, for me, during those times when I feel like he is really out there saying hello to me–they are so reassuring and meaningful for me.