With fall definitely in the air and “spooky season” upon us, I thought it would be a good time to tell you all that I talk to dead people. No, I don’t profess to be a psychic medium (truth be told I’m more of an intuitive empath), but nevertheless, I’ll have a conversation with my […]
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Self Compassion
Revisited The poetry in italics are quotes from a blog post entitled Self Compassion written by my earlier widowed self. This post is a clarification and love note to my current widowed self. When words don’t come easily I write in poetry. In May of 2023, I was trying to capture Self Compassion because […]
Where is Daddy?
Each day still takes my breath away a little. Each realization that Erik is no longer here and it truly is just me and the twins now. There is no escaping this reality or pretending it isn’t true any longer. What I didn’t realize was how soon the questions would come. Where is daddy, mama? […]
I Miss Him Out Loud
An old friend of ours called me this week. He calls on occasion to check in on the kids and me. Every time he calls, he asks how the house is and if I need help with anything. I have yet to accept his help or call him when something breaks. But it is nice […]
Today and Yesterday
Just got home from our weekend at Cape Cod visiting my parents at their time share. On our way back, we stopped off and met my old high school friend Jenny and her husband for lunch, at a restaurant in the town we both grew up in. The weekend was filled with lots of rain, […]
A “Weekness” For Dogs
Sometime around 2009, I came across an observance called National Dog Week. Founded by a man named Captain Wm. Lewis Judy in 1928, this intriguing slice of canine Americana fascinated me; there really was an actual seven day observance just to celebrate dogs and the humans that love them during the last week of September […]
Portals in Time
This past week, two of my cats have found such good hiding places in my house that I honestly couldn’t find them, even though I looked everywhere. I jokingly thought to myself that there might be a secret time portal in my house that only they know about and can slip in and out of […]
Loneliness
Gary is out today but this is a post worth re-reading that Gary did in May talking about Loneliness. As a widower, I make the effort to cultivate my friendships and acquaintances. By doing so I hope to avoid the loneliness and disconnection that seems to be pervasive. The unfavorable outcomes of loneliness are […]
Introverts: Stay in the Work
I get overwhelmed easily with “too many” of anything. Too many choices, too many words at first glance, too many ways to find my way to peace and healing. I have to back away. Take a beat. If I understood myself as an introvert earlier in my life, it is likely I could have avoided […]
Living with Triggers
After going through such a traumatic loss having anxiety and being scared or jumpy all seemed to be part of the package. A year and a half in those feelings are still there. They might not be as intense as they were a couple of months after Erik’s passing, but they continue to just lie […]
Death and Taxes
Nothing is certain in life except death and taxes, at least that is what they say. As a widow, I can also tell you that nothing complicates taxes like the death of your spouse. In April of 2021, our taxes had been prepared but we had not had to chance to sign and mail them […]
Sleeping and Not Sleeping and Weird Dreams in Between
Ever since Don Shepherd died, twelve years ago, sleep has been a problem. Like, a major problem. As in, I don’t sleep well at all. In the beginning, I barely slept at all. I would be lucky to get 2 or 3 hours those first few months after he died. Then, very slowly, it started […]