I caught myself today. I caught myself leaving for work, locking the door and checking the handle – 7 times. I pulled and pushed on the handle to make sure it was definitely locked. Then I pushed on the door itself. “It’s locked”’ I said to myself. I walked down the hall to the stairs and paused. I felt sick to my stomach. I turned…
worry
Struggles
There are times in life when we struggle, or when the people in our life struggle, or when you are both struggling because you pass the stress back and forth like a virus, because you are both hurting and you just want to help each other. And sometimes, you can’t. You just can’t help much. Not because you don’t want to. But because maybe you…
A Good Day
There was a day last week where I had a really good day. I woke up early and walked Tango before work. I was able to leave to get there early and there was not much traffic either. I had so much extra time in the morning that I was to finish my personal work for the course I’m taking before anything else. I made applesauce with the kids at school…
September and Remembering
My body felt September 11 approaching, even before my mind became aware of it. This morning, September 11, I woke up and could feel the nerves edging along my skin. The feeling only intensified as I watched snippets of remembrances on TV. Why, you might ask, would I put myself through watching something more when my heart was already hurting? To…
An Unexpected Return Home
Well I made it. I made it through the first wedding since Tin passed only two months ago and it was followed by the next day being the first Father’s Day without my father. There were times I couldn’t hold back the tears and times I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt like a stranded fish. How ironic to be a crying stranded fish that needs salt…
And What Are the Chances of That?
Another school related story today. So much seems to come up at work. One more week and I’m on holidays though so this might be the last one for now! Our last unit in Math is on probability. The expectation for the grade ones is that they need to understand and identify scenarios that are certain, impossible, likely, and unlikely. Do you see…
PRESSURE
This year is the 10 year anniversary of Soaring Spirits International. This Sunday is the official anniversary day of when Michele founded the non-profit. July 13th weekend, I will be presenting once again, at Camp Widow San Diego. July 13th will be the 7 year anniversary of my husband Don’s sudden death. July 13th, my book about his…
Book Anxiety
So, after about 3 and a half years or so of writing and not writing and then writing again, and then the last 6 months or so of REALLY doing a TON of writing and not being able to look at computer screens anymore because my eyes hurt so bad – I am finally finished writing my book. It is FINISHED!!!! I handed it over to my editor 2 days ago, and…
I Dream of Wandering
“I dream of wandering” That was the simple, unpolished statement written upon my paper heart at Camp Widow. Sarah and I were a large part of the message release there…constructing the large heart, cutting out all of the smaller ones, mounting it in the banquet area, and being the first two to place our torn dreams in front of the rest of…
A Waste of Worry
Last week I was anxious and annoyed (raging, actually) over the seemingly endless list of things I thought I could not do without Ben. At the time, the top of my list of stressors was the fact that I was headed off to Camp Widow where I would be attending a Saturday night Masquerade Ball, and I realized there was no one to zip up my dress. It…