• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Widow's Voice

Widow's Voice

  • Soaring Spirits
  • Donate
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors
    • Kelley Lynn
    • Emily Vielhauer
    • Emma Pearson
    • Kathie Neff
    • Gary Ravitz
    • Victoria Helmly
    • Lisa Begin-Kruysman

wendy saint-onge

I Still Look For Him

December 4, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

I still look for Ben.  Yes I do.  Not so much in person (although I do that too) but rather, I tend to look for him online.  On the internet. I have read everything that exists online about Ben.  In fact, I wrote most of it. But still I look, as though I’m hoping he might post a new picture or write something in a new guitar forum.  I…

Filed Under: Widowed Holidays Tagged With: Surgery, the last post, Christmas, widow stress, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, tree

Ben Can’t Be Bought Online

November 27, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

Back in my real world, when Ben existed, he managed all the money and did so with quite a bit of success.  He was very good at investing and made some smart moves when it came to stock picks (although it was I who insisted on purchasing Lululemon shares and I who insisted on purchasing FB shares).  When he was alive I didn’t think he was that…

Filed Under: Miscellaneous Tagged With: shopping, Money, spending, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan

Stress

November 20, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

I have a lot going on right now and I am feeling extremely stressed out.  Life in general is not going well for my youngest daughter, and in order to help her cope I have decided to leave work and stay home with her for her second semester of school this year.  Also, I have just found out that I require surgery on Dec 7th which will take me out…

Filed Under: Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: Stress, exhaustion, mental exhaustion, Christmas, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, widow christmas, anxiety

We Didn’t Win

November 13, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

My youngest daughter is 16.  She was 13 years old when she found out her Dad was dying.  She was 14 when he actually died.  I’m sure it goes without saying that every moment of her life since the day she found out he was sick has been a challenge.  A challenge that most adults would be unable to manage, and yet this girl manages.  She is…

Filed Under: Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: lessons, anger, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, lottery, teens, friends

Don’t Take The Boy

November 6, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

Last Monday was just an average day. I had some running around to do and appointments to attend. A pre Vegas hair colour, a dentist appointment… that sort of thing. Nothing too crazy or anxiety inducing, and the panic I tend to experience on the daily remained at a reasonable low for the most part. I ended the day by attending a relaxing yoga…

Filed Under: Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous Tagged With: Legacy, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, wife, denial, memories, widowhood and guilt

Tattoos And Zippers

October 30, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

As I sit here thinking about what I want to write, I am struck by the fact that I don’t really want to write about Ben specifically.  That’s a first.  I had a pretty good week overall, and despite going it alone I was still able to find some joy. Last weekend was the start of several busy days in a row which left little time for grief to rear…

Filed Under: Widowed Tagged With: Ben The Titan, zippers, widow, tattoos, wendy saint-onge

I Shouldn’t Have Come Alone

October 23, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

As I write this I have just pulled into the parking lot at the office of my urologist, Dr A. I have parked in stall number 61 and I find myself frozen in the drivers seat of my car as unwanted memories come flooding back into my brain. I remember the day I pulled into this parking lot with Ben. I don’t recall what stall number we parked in that…

Filed Under: Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: memories, fear, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, Existing

Missing That Hug

October 16, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

I wrote this post a few days ago in the middle of the night.  I’m posting it just as I wrote it on that night.  Read on. ***** I think I must be the only person in the world to experience anxiety attacks while I am actually asleep. Seriously. It can be 4am and I can be in the middle of what I would hope to be a solid 8 hours, when suddenly I find…

Filed Under: Widowed Emotions Tagged With: anxiety, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, sleeplessness, hugs

Grief Is A Funny Thing

October 9, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

Just when I find myself moving along a little more effortlessly and thinking, “I’ll be damned.  I think I’ve got this handled” … it happens.  WHAM!  Grief jumps out of nowhere and slams me so hard in the chest that I find myself gasping for breath and thinking, “What the fuck just happened there?” (Or, “what the heck just happened there?” …

Filed Under: Widowed Holidays, Widowed Community Tagged With: Thankfulness, Las Vegas, Thanksgiving, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, grief timetable, widow friends

Live Life

October 2, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

Live life. Good advice, right?  I have always liked to pass that piece of advice onto my kids whenever I had the opportunity.  “Take time off before University.  Go see the world.  Live your life while you can.”  That’s what we used to say to them. We had all sorts of tidbits of advice which included, “Happiness is a choice, so choose…

Filed Under: Miscellaneous Tagged With: taking chances, taking risks, Live Life, strong, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, sky diving

It Must Have Superpowers

September 18, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

Did you ever feel so consumed by your own grief that you have forgotten that others grieve too?  That they grieve not only for the loss of your spouse, who may have been a friend to them, but possibly they grieve also for other people that you may know absolutely nothing about?  Do you find that during this time of all consuming grief, you have…

Filed Under: Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness Tagged With: widowed by cancer, grief and pain, super power, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan

An Honest Love Letter: Saint-Onge style

September 11, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

I was scrolling through my personal blog recently, because I like reading what I wrote while Ben was still alive. Re-reading my words allows me to remember certain days with clarity.  For a moment I can close my eyes and feel myself back in my real life when Ben was alive.  And even though those days were terrible for him (pain, chemo, radiation,…

Filed Under: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness Tagged With: long live love, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, cancer widow, love letter, collecting duct carcinoma, widowed by cancer, strength

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Footer

Quick Links

  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors

SSI Network

  • Soaring Spirits International
  • Camp Widow
  • Resilience Center
  • Soaring Spirits Gala
  • Widowed Village
  • Widowed Pen Pal Program
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

Contact Info

Soaring Spirits International
2828 Cochran St. #194
Simi Valley, CA 93065

Email: [email protected]

Phone: 877-671-4071

Soaring Spirits International is a 501(c)3 Corporation EIN#: 38-3787893. Soaring Spirits International provides resources with no endorsement implied.

Copyright © 2023 Widow's Voice. All Rights Reserved.