Blessings to you, during this difficult time of year for many of us. I’ve handled Christmas pretty well since Ian died. Partly as we’d not really developed/embedded traditions before he passed, partly because I have a very young child who I want to experience and have memories of the childhood magic and joy of the season. So I bring you my…
widowed suddenly
Infusion
Oh, it’s back. Some of my previous silliness, joy and ease is back. Sleeping and I are friends again, but it’s a tentative relationship. We’re afraid to like each other too much, lest we get too attached. But it’s working for now. And for that I am so grateful I want to throw a party. I’m eating TOO well, and I’m exercising and working more without…
Where We Began
A big hello to everyone here at Soaring Spirits and Widow’s Voice on my debut post. I’m incredibly honored and humbled to have been asked to join this team. I hope that we can help each other to feel heard, honored, and loved for exactly where we are in these years of tears. I’ve been a writer all my life in some form, but this is the first time…
Crumb of Cake
Call me crazy, but I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m a little bit crazy. Is that crazy? Is it Nuts-ville Crazytown that I feel like I am more in love with my husband now, than ever before? That I would rather have one-way conversations with his spirit or soul, than put any real efforts into possibly finding a new partner who I could actually…
Goodbye for now
Two writers stepping down in one week?!? First it was Melinda. Now, it’s my turn. This is very bittersweet for me. I am so incredibly thankful for the platform that Michele has given me to open up my heart and share my journey. I have learned so much just from watching my life unfold in my own words and processing through it, as well as reading…
Life Does NOT Look ……
…… the way I expected it to look …… 6 years ago. Six years ago he was still alive. Although for only 14 more days, unbeknownst to any of us. Over the years, I remember looking at people I knew, who had lost their spouse, and wondering, “What were they thinking 24 hours before?” Seriously. I thought that. I wondered. I don’t…
The lost art of flirting
… well lost to me anyway. The last time I did “flirting” (without knowing that the flirtee was already very interested – ie Greg), I was in possession of a rather hot 22 year old body, flawless skin and a geeky naivete that was somehow attractive (who knew?). In other words, the most flirting I did was glancing in the direction of someone I…
Dreams
I never dream of him. I can’t for the life of me figure out why or how the person I spent most moments of 15 years with, the person I was closest to in my entire life, doesn’t show up in my dreams now that he’s gone from this earth. Or if he is, why I don’t remember those dreams but I do remember the mundane, annoying, or ridiculous dreams instead.
Push It
“The answer is to push-in rather than hold back, to get into the thick mess of it, and to put your whole weight into it. … [This realization] has given me the freedom to fully engage all aspects of my life, to stop being a spectator, and to throw my whole weight into it. Because, no, my motives aren’t perfect. They do make a mess of things.
Turning the Corner
So, it’s the day after Thanksgiving, and I write here on this blog each and every Friday. Except that I don’t. In actuality, in order for the blog to go live on Friday, midnight Pacific time, that means my writing deadline is 3 am on the East Coast, the night before Friday morning. Last night. Now you know all the ins- and -outs of the widowed…
Perspective, an Amazing Gift
Last week I called Veronica and offered to write her post this week…seeing as it is Thanksgiving and she was going to have just given birth…I thought she *may* be a bit busy! (She, and her big loving family, welcomed a baby boy on Monday. Bayor Matthias weighed in at 9lb 15oz, he measured 20 inches long…and he is absolutely gorgeous!)…
Thankful ……
…… is not something I have felt a lot these past almost-6 years. I mean, I’ve felt it for a few things, like my children, my family and friends who were there for me when I really needed them. But it was beyond difficult to feel thankful, while at the same time not believing that Jim was dead. But this year …… this year is different. These…