I feel like this may need some sort of introductory explanation. Suffice to say, that this entry is kinda sultry; but, more so, it is fairly profound – at least to me. ~Staci I have figured out how to love Mike -in separation. And, I am not talking about some superficial, makeshift love. I am talking about deep, pure, passionate love. The type of…
widowed living boldly
Living Room
I should have started writing my blog a long time ago, but the day got away from me because I got busy L-I-V-I-N-G . I didn’t do anything particularly noteworthy today. In fact, I spent the better part of the day doing “normal” things; which, in and of itself, is not extraordinary. But, what was exceptional about today was that I actually…
Stumbling Proudly
I’ve been feeling the strains of beginning anew lately. Let’s face it – starting to date someone is always messy. New person, new energy, new triggers and sensitivities. But being widowed makes it even trickier. After almost 3 years without a man by my side… I am a completely different person than who I was with Drew. I am far more independent. I…
Both Feet In
This past week, a friend of mine shared a story with me about a woman she recently met while out shopping for boots at a western store. As they looked through the sale rack, the woman told her how she got through the death of her husband by promising herself a new pair of cowboy boots every time she had to do something hard in relation to her…
Death: the Barrier
I thought this week I would share one of the images from my self portrait series and the story behind it. While I was out shooting on the beach for last week’s photograph – wandering the grassy, windswept dunes – I came across a peculiar sight. Every plant on the beach was bright green and vibrant with life that day. Rich olive green sea…
Still, Life
week has been a whirlwind for me. I met a fellow artist who, upon seeing my photographic series on grief, asked to write this feature about it for a creative blog he writes for. That one blog post at this point has led to around 6 other blogs contacting me to share my story and the project… which has resulted in hundreds of people sharing the…
Battle On
I have to thank everyone for all the incredible responses to my post last week. You warmed my heart and really helped me to feel a bit more okay with all of this mess – and a bit less alone. Trying to welcome a new life is SO not easy, but its a heck of a lot easier with friends like all of you. You encourage me to be honest with where I am at on…
What I Learned from a Visionary
I’ll be very blunt here. Christina Rasmussen, the visionary of Second Firsts, continues to help save my sanity by holding out hope. Her story helps me know that I just might get through this devastating grief brought into my soul by my beloved husband’s death. I personally don’t feel hope but I see the life she’s built after her husband’s…
The Box
I put a blue sticky note on it so the movers wouldn’t pack it. I carefully carried it to the car, hefting its astonishing weight, and placed it gently in the back seat. Alone for a few moments at the new place, I picked it up again, and carried it close to my body up to the new bedroom and found its new spot where it snugly fits. I closed the door…
No Offense Meant~Bless Your Heart
FWG. A term I made up myself and one that may or may not be offensive to people. Words are funny, aren’t they? My mom used to say that people are the ones who give power to words and I believe the same goes for those who hear the words. They receive it according to how they define the word. When people ask me what FWG means, I generally ask…
Ready for [A Little] New
I’ve had a roller coaster of a weekend. Yesterday was my fiancé and I’s anniversary of when we began dating, and in just a few more days comes the two year mark of his death. I spent the past two weeks in Hawaii visiting a friend, which was incredible and a welcome distraction. Then, on Wednesday, I flew directly to Portland for a conference.
Walking Alone Together
I’m writing today to you from Hawaii. I came out for a few weeks to visit a friend on Oahu. This is the longest trip I’ve ever taken away from home since he died, and the first real vacation I’ve taken without him or his family being with me. Leaving the shelter of home has always made me a little antsy, but now instead of just the usual…