Yes ….. sometimes I talk to Jim. This is a new experience for me. I’ve been a widow for over 16 months and I’ve never really “talked” to him …. until recently. I couldn’t do it before. I couldn’t believe that he could see and hear me. After all, I have no doubt that he is in Heaven …. no doubt at all. And I have no doubt that there…
widowed moving forward
It is birthday weekend.
David and I were born only two days apart, out of all the years I’ve known him we’ve only been able to spend 3 birthdays together… Our 16th, our 21st, and our 22nd birthdays… (Picture taken at Six Flags California, April 2006, our 21st Birthdays) Previously, I looked forward to new years to come, new challenges… another birthday… life.
My Valley
It’s Thursday. As I lay in my bed pondering all the emotions I’ve traveled through this week… I can’t help but smile and shake my head… Wow. Where the heck did I go this week?? And how did I get back?! Have you ever traveled through the depths of the “valley” of grief and lost recognition of who you are? I think and say things that surprise…
My Circle …
This picture is from our last vacation …. we went to Alaska in June of 2007. Jim died in December, 5 months later. I love this picture because it really “shows” us. We didn’t know it was being taken and were just enjoying some quiet time together. We held hands …. all of the time. I hate how empty my hand feels now. And this is the…
Happy Easter?
Wishing someone a good day or a nice holiday weekend seems innocuous enough most of the time…but as a new widow well meant wishes from family, friends or strangers struck me like arrows. How exactly am I supposed to have a good day? Why do I care about this holiday? Have you forgotten for a moment that my husband is dead? Some days I could accept…
Birthday Thoughts
Tomorrow is Daniel’s 39th birthday. I haven’t seen him since he was 35, and that thought surprises me in a way that seems ridiculous. I know he’s been gone three and a half years, but not seeing him since he was 35? “Inconceivable!” The passage of time is a mystery to me. There are moments when it seems like he just left, and others when it feels…
Widows Loving Again
Dear Wonderful Widow. What did it feel like the first time someone reassured you that you would find love again, that you would find another man, and that it was just a matter of time? The first person who mentioned the possibility of a new love to me, well, I wanted to break her legs. Ok, maybe this is a little extreme, but it was only a few…
I am not alone.
Confession: I am not fun when hungry. When my hunger sets in I get a headache, become weak, and I’m grumpy! I can’t hide my hunger well, and David knew this better than anyone. The moment I became difficult he’d ask, “Have you eaten today?” “No.” His action? Drop everything and get my wife some food! David always prevented my “hunger monster” from…