The Business of Change that I started back in mid-September continues on. There’s just so much stuff to go through and just so little willpower on my part. Despite all the difficult work packing her 118 pair of shoes into boxes, only one box has made it to a new home. (I remind myself that one is better than none – and even one is still a…
widowed by cancer
It’s Us Against the World
I heard this song by Coldplay recently and it made me think of all of us. Thought I’d share it. Hugs to all of you. Don’t let go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGlqmn2HSTk Oh morning come bursting the clouds amen Lift off this blindfold let me see again Bring back the water let your ships roll in In my heart she left a hole The…
Good Bye
Good bye. Words we are familiar with. We have, in one way or another, said goodbye to spouses/partners. In tears, begging for forgiveness, in resolution. We have thought, uttered, whispered those words. Good bye. Good bye for me, now holds so much more. I get that I may not see a person again. I get that there isn’t a reason for death. It sweeps…
Thankful
Two Thanksgiving celebrations down, and one to go. It’s been an interesting couple of days. Friday night I hosted an office Thanksgiving potluck at my home. Almost every person from the office came, along with their families. There was so much food, wine and desert, and everyone was in a very good mood. Most had hoped to meet Abel, and since he had…
Hope and Rope
After a week of being less social that usual, last Friday night sucked. Really, really sucked. I have no idea what triggered the mess. I wasn’t wallowing around in old wedding pictures. I hadn’t gone back in time to read our Great Cancer Adventure blog (reading about our last days together still transforms me into a wailing mess of a man.) But…
The Fraudulent Widow
I have a confession to make. And to many of you it will sound preposterous. No doubt many of you will think that I am out of touch, delusional or didn’t have a “good” marriage. Some of you won’t believe me or won’t want to believe me. I am not of the widow crowd that believes that my husband, Art, was “my one and only love in my…
Sunday
So this is the first occasion of my newly assigned day. Sunday. A day of sun, as I see it, is a true blessing. For so many of us, worry, hardship, and the basic toll of life, can really bring us down. When the weekend is upon us, we tend to wonder how much we can get accomplished on Saturday, and how we want to spend a day of leisure on Sunday.
i dream of you
I’ve had many dreams of Jeff since his death. There are a few that are terrifying renditions of the last few minutes of his life; but the vast majority centre on seeing him again in a variety of surprising locations. I’ve found him on dairy farms slogging through the mud. I have glimpsed him on boats passing bridges that I stand upon. I have found…
Ode to a Frog
Kim’s blog this weekend got me thinking…fondly reminiscing about the “joys” of dating again. This blog isn’t really a poem…more of an epic journey, the story of a quest. I met my husband at the ripe old age of 16, and married him at 22. We did date other people for a while in college, but really – he was “the one” from the beginning. Fast…
A Son’s Perspective
I was sitting in the living room, warmed by the fire, with my boyfriend Abel to my left, and my son Remy to my right. I was trying to think of what to write about, then saw a perfect opportunity to find out what my son thought about his dad, a widower, newly dating again. My husband, for those who do not know, died a little over two years ago. He…
Lets Talk Men
Ok really? I am not dating any more I’m done. No seriously, this is just ridiculous. I stopped dating a few months ago. Why? Because it was putting a damper on my little widow parade! I am not sure why these men feel it’s okay to do what they do. I am not sure how they have gotten this far in the dating world. I am not sure how they tell…
The Passing of Time
Six years ago today. Six years ago today started with a horrific shock at about 1 in the morning. It happened so quickly I can hardly believe I was there for it, or that it was real. One moment I was laying with my head on Daniel’s chest listening to his heart beat, and moments later the ER staff were in our room fighting to save his life. They…