How many times have you thought back to your “day after”? That day, after your spouse shuffled off their mortal coil and you had to face a whole new life on your own, is not one that’s easily forgotten (even with the passage of time). Every now and then, that first day will pop into […]
Widowed Memories
Another Halloween Without You
Today is Halloween. Yet another holiday that Erik is no longer here for. The days leading up to any holiday always puts me in a strange mood. The anxiety levels become higher than they normally are. The feelings of sadness, anger, disappointment, hope, and everything in between all seem to mix together. Something I still […]
What is Grief . . .
. . . someone asked. a puzzle an enigma one long and unpredictable complication . . . a testament to love. grief the remnant from the flood proof that love existed love’s receipt. The poet, John O’Donohue says it best: For Grief When you lose someone you love, […]
As the Seasons Change
The reality of the seasons changing is hitting me a little differently this year. This past week we took our family photos for the upcoming season and it was the first true holiday photo session I had joined in with the twins since Erik’s passing. It didn’t feel complete because the most important person to […]
Steps Toward Healing
Step-by-Step we grow through grief Merriam-Webster defines “step” as STEP n. 1 – an action planned or taken to achieve a desired result 2 – an individual part of a process… STEP-BY-STEP adj. 1 – proceeding or changing by steps or degrees On April 9, 2023 (6 days prior to the […]
A morbid sense of humor.
This post isn’t for everyone. So trigger warning if morbid humor is not something you want to read. This post is for those who know in their heart of hearts that we all die. Memento mori and all that. Life comes to an end and sometimes the only thing you can do is smile at […]
When Strangers Become Family
Early last week a widow friend texted our widow group chat that was started after Camp Widow San Diego. She had shared with us that she needed to go to the hospital for her daughter. I was driving as I read this text and immediately my heart dropped for her. It took me right back […]
Halloween Decorations
The seasons are changing here in the Midwest and everywhere you look is a plethora of pumpkin spice and Halloween. Houses are decorated with giant spiders, pumpkins, ghosts, skeletons, and tombstones. In my before, I never gave any of this a second thought. Now I find it a little odd people are out there setting […]
Places in Time
Last week, I took a couple days off mid-week and traveled up to a hot springs retreat. The last time I was there was 2019 and I went with Mario. We wanted to go again early 2020, but then the pandemic hit. They managed to weather that storm and re-opened in late summer. We booked […]
Stops Along the Road
On Thursday, September 28th, Rich and I would’ve celebrated our 27th Wedding Anniversary. As I’ve shared in my bi-line and bio below, we celebrated our 25th anniversary up at the Jersey Shore, also spending time cleaning out my family home in Hackensack to prepare for its sale. It was a special time spent with people […]
I Miss Him Out Loud
An old friend of ours called me this week. He calls on occasion to check in on the kids and me. Every time he calls, he asks how the house is and if I need help with anything. I have yet to accept his help or call him when something breaks. But it is nice […]
A “Weekness” For Dogs
Sometime around 2009, I came across an observance called National Dog Week. Founded by a man named Captain Wm. Lewis Judy in 1928, this intriguing slice of canine Americana fascinated me; there really was an actual seven day observance just to celebrate dogs and the humans that love them during the last week of September […]