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Halloween Decorations

Posted on: October 9, 2023 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

The seasons are changing here in the Midwest and everywhere you look is a plethora of pumpkin spice and Halloween. Houses are decorated with giant spiders, pumpkins, ghosts, skeletons, and tombstones. In my before, I never gave any of this a second thought. Now I find it a little odd people are out there setting up fake cemeteries in their yards with skeletons and ghosts galore. I don’t know if I’m the weird one or if society is the weird one.

Photo by Łukasz Nieścioruk on Unsplash

My middle son has a birthday close to Halloween, so he is always the one pressing me to get out the decorations this time of year. He excitedly goes through the bins and places the décor around the house. All while lamenting how we need more, because compared to Christmas the amount we have is shameful.

I can’t in good conscience throw any of our old decorations out until they break. However, it feels a little weird placing a bowl of bones and skulls on the dining room table. Don’t get me started on the zombie hand sticking out of the grass in the front yard. I don’t squash the stuff because the kids don’t seem to mind. I find it weird and kind of ironic, but not necessarily triggering.

On the other hand, when I do find myself in Target wandering the seasonal Halloween department, I don’t pick up anything related to dead people. I stick to pumpkins, witches, bats, and spiders. There is still plenty to chose from at Halloween that isn’t directly inspired by the dead.

Photo by Erica Marsland Huynh on Unsplash

While this isn’t that life altering for me. It’s another example of how many things in my life have changed with widowhood. And like everything else, I’m sure we widows are spread across the spectrum. Many have probably never even thought about this. Some probably didn’t decorate to start with. I’d put money that someone out there used to decorate their house to the brim with all kinds of awesome creepy things and maybe you can or can’t still do it anymore.

We all handle this season of change in our own way. I’ll decorate how I want to, avoiding all the pumpkin spice, and missing the warm weather of summer. No way is right, and no way is wrong.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Memories, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Suicide

About Emily Vielhauer

My name is Emily Vielhauer, I am 44 years old and have 3 knuckleheaded sons who are between the ages of 9 and 14. My husband, Tony, and I were married for 14 years and despite how things ended we built something great together.

April 19th, 2021 was the last day of my ‘before’ story. The day before I became a widow, before I was a solo parent to 3 boys, before I knew my love was suffering in silence, before suicide rocked my world, before I had to break the hearts of my children and all our friends and family, before I planned a funeral and delivered a eulogy, before I knew the true depths of my love for Tony and the way that love would be expressed through grief, so many befores.

My hope for this blog is to take you along with me as I navigate my life in the ‘after’ and that my words help someone else out there, whether they empower you or just let you know that you’re not alone out there.

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