Even after almost three years, I rarely dream of Tony. I would venture to guess I’ve had no more than ten dreams of him since he passed. In the beginning, I remember falling asleep hopeful he’d make an appearance. Knowing I’d never again see him in the physical world had me craving a visit of […]
Widowed Emotions
A Community of Widowed People
Powerful Medicine for Broken Hearts [COMMUNITY: Part 5] “What are you seeking?” they asked. “I just want to find normal again,” they answered. To survive the loss of the person with whom we thought, hoped, and planned to grow old with is the challenge of widowed people. Whether we were partnered […]
The Mosson Love Story
A repost! As my birthday approaches next week so does the day that I met Erik. I met him the day after my 21st birthday. I always told him getting to meet him was my late, but amazing life-changing birthday gift. Although, I did think my birthday was on the 28th of August for 13 […]
Stress and Self Doubt
After I logged off work tonight, I felt that bubble rising. The one that fills me with self-doubt. My brain filling with intrusive thoughts because I am stretched thin. I don’t feel good at anything. The source of my stress right now is work. I’ve been given more responsibility, while also working to improve processes. […]
Rich’s Play List and a Lyrical Birthday Tribute
Tomorrow, February 4th, is Rich’s birthday. He was a music-loving Jersey Guy and just after his passing, I’d say “play me a song, Rich” when I’d start out on the road and turned on the radio. Soon there was a pattern, a constellation of songs, that would inevetibly come on over the airways and sometimes […]
Embracing the Abyss of Grief
The day before my birthday in 2021, I wrote this original piece below over on my Medium account (modified slightly for this post). Since we’re rapidly coming up upon the anniversary of Mario’s expiry date, I revisited it. I definitely feel like I’m in a different place now 3 years hence, but I also feel […]
What is Intentional Community?
Traveling the Path Together [COMMUNITY: Part 3] I experienced intentional community for the first time in 1979. It changed my life. “Some come to talk, others come to listen,” the leader said. “Most do a bit of both. Engage here in whatever way feels comfortable for you. We’re glad you’re here.” […]
Flight Down Memory Lane
Sometimes I don’t actively realize how hard it would be to re-visit a place that I’ve been with Erik. And we have been to so many places so how can I possibly avoid all of them? I can’t. This past weekend I flew to Hawaii for my best friend’s birthday trip. The last time I […]
Car Troubles
Here’s a new one for me, I cried dropping my car off for a repair. I had it all worked out. After I dropped off my car, I would order an Uber to take me to my parents to pick up a spare vehicle. I handed over my keys and realized there was no waiting […]
Stopping to Refuel
I’ve enjoyed the bit of cold temperatures that we “endured” for a few weeks in Central Florida. Cold is relative state. While my friends and family in the north deal with temps in the 30s, a “cold” day here is in the low 50s, with 30s in the evening, but that’s fleeting. But here we […]
“All of the Moments You Take for Granted”
Trigger warnings for death by illness and mention of suicide. I’ve recently been watching video blogs posted by Jackson Galaxy on Youtube – a guy known as the “cat daddy” who originally came to fame through being a cat behaviorist who got his own tv show, “My Cat From Hell”. The videos are documenting the […]
Common Feelings and Attitudes
Along the Path of Grief [COMMUNITY: Part 2] The role of feelings in grief is huge. Feelings impact us when they are present, absent, strong, subtle, frozen, overwhelming, invisible, or constantly changing. The famous writer, C.S.Lewis, describes the changing nature of feelings through his own experience. “No one ever told me that grief […]