• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Widow's Voice

Widow's Voice

  • Soaring Spirits
  • Donate
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors
    • Grace Villafuerte
    • Emily Vielhauer
    • Dianne West Garvey
    • Liliana Henao Holmes
    • Gary Ravitz
    • Sherry Holub
    • Lisa Begin-Kruysman

Car Troubles

Posted on: January 29, 2024 | Posted by: Emily Vielhauer

Here’s a new one for me, I cried dropping my car off for a repair.

I had it all worked out. After I dropped off my car, I would order an Uber to take me to my parents to pick up a spare vehicle. I handed over my keys and realized there was no waiting area at this repair shop. Feeling unwelcome in the workspace, I stepped out into the rain to order my ride. I huddled under a small overhang in the cold as I waited the 20 minutes for the driver to arrive.

Photo by Tom Morbey on Unsplash

This was when it hit me. I stood there tearing up thinking about how wrong this was. We would have dropped the car off together, he would have done the talking then given me a ride home.

Managing our house with only one car for a day or so would have been doable. Now, it feels like there isn’t a night where there isn’t a practice, an appointment, or a store run that doesn’t have to be completed. Public transportation is almost non-existent where I live. Even if we had needed an extra car, there would be another person in the house to help facilitate the pickup and drop off required.

Instead, I stood there in the rain feeling the pain of his loss again.

The car has been doing this shake thing when I accelerate. It’s not all the time but it happens almost every time I drive it at some point. I have put off taking it in for months because trying to orchestrate when to borrow a car or not have a car is a feat.

A few hours after I dropped off my car the shop called to tell me the car runs great. He said he cannot replicate the problem. There is just no way.

Photo by Kate Ibragimova on Unsplash

According to stereotypes, women are easy targets when it comes to car troubles. The old tale where women are told the nonexistent blinker fluid needs replacing. I don’t know if he didn’t want to mess with my car or what, but I am convinced he was lying to me. This shop even came recommended by two unrelated sources. I drove a friend the evening after I picked it up and we felt the problem repeatedly.

After all that work to get the car taken in, my car still isn’t fixed. I must go through the whole process again and it’s so incredibly frustrating. The only good news is the guy didn’t charge me anything. At least I didn’t have to pay for the smoke he was blowing.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Miscellaneous

About Emily Vielhauer

My name is Emily Vielhauer, I am 45 years old and have 3 knuckleheaded sons who are between the ages of 11 and 15. My husband, Tony, and I were married for 14 years and despite how things ended we built something great together.

April 19th, 2021 was the last day of my ‘before’ story. The day before I became a widow, before I was a solo parent to 3 boys, before I knew my love was suffering in silence, before suicide rocked my world, before I had to break the hearts of my children and all our friends and family, before I planned a funeral and delivered a eulogy, before I knew the true depths of my love for Tony and the way that love would be expressed through grief, so many befores.

My hope for this blog is to take you along with me as I navigate my life in the ‘after’ and that my words help someone else out there, whether they empower you or just let you know that you’re not alone out there.

Primary Sidebar

Footer

Quick Links

  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors

SSI Network

  • Soaring Spirits International
  • Camp Widow
  • Resilience Center
  • Soaring Spirits Gala
  • Widowed Village
  • Widowed Pen Pal Program
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

Contact Info

Soaring Spirits International
2828 Cochran St. #194
Simi Valley, CA 93065

Email: [email protected]

Phone: 877-671-4071

Soaring Spirits International is a 501(c)3 Corporation EIN#: 38-3787893. Soaring Spirits International provides resources with no endorsement implied.

Copyright © 2026 Widow's Voice. All Rights Reserved.