A repost! I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between minutes and seconds and moments. Something as simple as how he used to hug me from behind as I […]
Widowed Emotions
Preparing for the Deathiversary
The kids and I made a plan for what to do on the upcoming third anniversary of Tony’s death. One of the boys and I were by ourselves driving recently when he asked me about camping. If we were ever going camping again, at a specific location Tony loved. I told him we would go […]
Widowed Movies
Fact: I am a hopeless cinephile. I was reminded of my love of film while watching a documentary on YouTube named “Sr.” The film features the life of Robert Downey, Sr., created and filmed by his son. We visit the elder Downey’s life as a filmmaker and follow while he is being filmed in real […]
Where is your Dad?
Today during school pickup a little girl from the twins’ class ran up to me and started pulling at my jacket. As I was in the middle of hugging Charlotte, I didn’t pay her much attention. She kept pulling on my jacket as persistent as ever. So I looked down at her smiled and said, […]
April Again
Today marks the beginning of another April. This is THE month for me, the one we lost Tony. Last week I was chatting with a friend, and she asked me how I was feeling with the anniversary coming up soon. Also noting that it will be 3 years and how many people told me that […]
On Location!
As I’ve relayed in previous posts, in February I traveled from Florida to my brother’s home in New York State with the urgent news that my mother was not doing well. I understood that this would most likely be my last visit with her. Unfortunately, I learned of her passing while on a layover in […]
Visiting the old places, isolation, and relaxation.
I never get lengthy vacations, but throughout the year, I try to schedule little trips to incorporate some fun and downtime into my life, As I’m writing this (it’s Wednesday 3/27), I’m currently at a hotel about 20 minutes from a ski resort. This was supposed to be my big birthday getaway, but I ended […]
Dear Hubby
St. Patrick’s Day 2024 marked two years since Erik took his last breath. This year seemed to be more challenging in different ways than I remembered year one being. It seemed to hit harder and more vivid. I was so much more aware of the situation and my feelings and everything that has happened since […]
200 Miles Solo
This weekend felt like a solo parenting marathon. The younger boys were both in a soccer tournament with three games each. Additionally, the youngest was also in a baseball tournament with four games. Feels like one of those grade school math word problems! The answer is, the boys had 10 sports games total. Strangely, only […]
The “He(a)ling” Power of The Paw
My mom passed just a little over a month ago and I’m feeling that loss more strongly these days. It seems to compound the other losses experienced by myself and my family over the past two and a half years. I especially feel it in the early evening when she’d always call me like clockwork. […]
Another Trip Around The Sun
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately. I go through phases like this where I turn inward and time travel through my past. Sometimes I’ll be able to almost relive moments in time in my mind. I can remember the smallest of details from days even when I was a small child. I’m not sure why […]
The Art of Camp Widow
I choose art media like I choose sandwiches. I go with my favorite. The sure thing. What I love the most — Collage. Creating through collage requires bringing many things together into a whole. Like community, it feels like “Here comes everybody!” or, better, “Here come all the things.” This was Camp Widow Tampa, 2024. […]