I’m a 74 year old twice-widowed gal. What’s the point in putting the effort into setting some goals for 2026? I’m just not feeling it at this point. Can I just plug along with this new alone life, randomly doing something fun or meaningful if it presents itself and I’m feeling up to it? Or […]
Widowed Emotions
New Year. New Widow
My team at work kicks off the week with a quick meeting almost every Monday morning. It’s a quick 15-minute call where we cover the highlights of the upcoming week and who has a birthday or anniversary. Last week was our first one of the new year, and we all expected welcome back pleasantries. Instead, […]
What now?
What’s next for me? Mystery of seasons shows edge of winter waking; another turning. Before its return rising sun pauses unseen; as Life asks for more. A new year begs a plan. What’s next? it asks. What’s new, different, or ahead that’s waiting for me? Grief says, Hold on! Not so fast. […]
New Years First
For the first time since Tony died, I found myself in town for New Years Eve. I have spent the last four years ringing in the new year anywhere but home. Part of me was dreading being here with all the couples I’m friends with when the clock struck midnight. The unknown of how it […]
Approaching Year’s End
Closing Down 2025 Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My feeling? Pretty chill, actually. I’m saving my present wrapping for tomorrow after church. We draw names, so only one special person’s presents require wrap. No party happening here, so no busy prep. I plan to sit by my brightly lit tree to wrap my gifts and then […]
My First Christmas …
… without Jim. And there won’t be any decorations or a tree or any cards and gifts sent. I just can’t do any of that this year. It’s hard to get into the holiday spirit when you’re missing your husband. The Christmas tree is such a big undertaking, full of memories, and the other things […]
Pages of Grief
Last night I finished the book Maame by Jessica George. (Warning: Spoilers ahead if it’s on your To Be Read list.) The book follows Maddie, who is trying to find herself at 25 when her father dies from complications related to Parkinsons. She is at an age where she is working through finding a career […]
Holiday Pause for Peace
What do I need in this moment? I take a breath I breathe in peace I breathe in silence I breathe in words, story, and music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCpXMy5GalI&list=RDlCpXMy5GalI&start_radio=1 Please excuse the holiday ad at the beginning. Worth waiting for Peace on Earth with Bing Crosby & David Bowie and assorted music […]
Funeral Attendance
Today I went to a funeral for friend whose mom passed away. I have known this friend since high school, and I think I even crashed on the couch in their basement once. I know some people avoid almost all future funerals after losing their partner. Admittedly, some of them are easier to sit through […]
Holiday Traditions Evolving
“Fun” fact – Lynn and I never spent a Christmas together in the 10 years we were together on Earth. Her family lived in Tennessee, and mine lived in the same town we lived. We both had big families we were close to, with lots of nieces and nephews. We both wanted to spend the […]
Bringing Our Person Into the Holidays
Traditions, Rituals, and Memory Making Where do we begin? How does one start a new tradition or ritual for one’s self or for a family? How does making memories help? As holidays appear and then move on, how do we fill the empty place where our person is missing? GRIEF I had my own […]
Aloneness … Loneliness, Solitude or Isolation?
Aloneness – I had not heard this word until after I was widowed. It feels bigger than loneliness, more all encompassing. It felt right for me back in 2010 and feels right for me now. I do know I can be happy living alone … it took awhile but I eventually found it after Vern […]