Another Mother’s Day has come and gone; six to be exact since Tony died. It is still weird to wake up on a day like Mother’s Day without him. I always take myself back in time to the last one he was alive for. He and the boys picked up the house, emptied the dishwasher, […]
Widowed and Healing
What do Cinco de Mayo 🇲🇽 and Mother’s Day 💐 have in common?
Nothing, except everything. Yesterday, May 5th, the grief hit me out of nowhere, yet not entirely unexpectedly. We loved turning nothing into something, any excuse into a celebration. Take Cinco de Mayo, for instance. Not Mexican Independence Day 🇲🇽 and not a widely celebrated holiday in Mexico, but after nearly 30 years […]
Ya gotta feel all the feelings
… and I’ve sure been doing a lot of ‘feeling’ lately. Feeling Jim’s absence here in our home as the days, weeks, months pass. Feeling my age … in my brain and in my body. I just don’t have the energy to “people” – to put on that happy face for others. I have a […]
Need to Update My Emotional Emergency Fund
I read recently that “Emergency funds are financial shock absorbers, protecting your budget from unexpected car repairs, medical bills, job loss, etc. Funds should be kept in a safe, easily accessible account. This can reduce financial stress, and act as a buffer against income disruptions.” It made me reflect on the times when I have had a healthy emergency […]
The Wild Wild Southwest 🌵
First things first, and the most important thing first: this airline gets me!!! ➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️ But seriously, the polarity of this journey that goes from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other in a nanosecond, I had to take a picture of it. Well, we did it! We survived and, may I dare say, […]
DeathFest V in Review
A week ago, I hosted a party called DeathFest V (5) to honor the life Tony lived and the person he was. Tony loved revelry with all the people he loved. Even though the party had a dark name, gathering together was at the center of the event. As I built the invite list, I […]
The Small Gestures That Help the Healing
I have such strong memories of the times people have said things that were – unbeknownst to them – hurtful to hear as a grieving widow. We know them all, ” I ALSO have strong memories that make me tear up with joy when I think of the times when someone unexpectedly said or did […]
Home Matters
Last week I wrote about my home in Georgia, the one that Rich and I purchased in early 2020. I relayed that I’ve been moving out and away from that haven for about two-and-a-half years now when in the fall of 2023 I acquired on a whim a log home in rural Northeast Florida. Not […]
Alone Again, Naturally
I went to the hockey game by myself last night. Round 1, Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs for my Vegas Golden Knights. Sold my extra ticket online to a stranger (who didn’t show up for the game) but I was surrounded by young couples having a great time. Our official Golden Knight […]
April 20th
Today, April 20th, is the fifth anniversary of Tony’s death. Yesterday I thew a huge party in his honor. (More on that next week.) As a result, my heart is both empty and overflowing with love. I had a soul cleansing cry at the end of the night (which was technically today). It was good […]
When Your Loved One is 5 Minutes Late
A shared feeling that comes up in conversation in my Widow Fam group is about the heightened sense of worry about a loved one when you do not hear from them when you expected to. For many of us, our minds naturally go to, “Are they dead? It’s possible they died, or something horrific has […]
I’m Off the Clock ⏰
Said no widowed parent ever!!! 😂 This week I am traveling with our kids for their spring break…🛫 Ay Dios mío!!! I’m super nervexcited! 🚘 I will report back after the trip with our teenage boy and teenage girl, doing things they have never done before. 🚵🏼♀️ Like hiking a lot, hiking inside a river […]