I know that the concept of time moving fast isnt exactly anything new. The idea of “where did the time go?” is something that people talk about all of the …. well, all of the time. But in my last month of being 50 years old, (I will turn 51 in September), for some reason, […]
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Of God and Grief
40 days and 40 nights. Sometimes that’s how grief has felt along this journey. No one quite understands the impact that first grief flood has on you until you find your floating around and all the land is gone. Nothing but a horizon. You feel helpless, alone and lost. It has taken lots of navigating […]
Blank Slate
I’m staring at a blank screen, hoping that I’ll find something to say today that is entertaining, or at least interesting. Some weeks it’s been harder than others for me to crank out a thousand words or so on a blog site that is called the “Widows Voice.” It has started out being one of […]
You’re Never Too Old To Learn Something New
At this stage of my life, giving back to my community seems to me a very good idea. But I wonder whether I would feel this way today had Lee not died. I tend to doubt it. Lee and I loved to spend time together. We had not only planned, but were fast approaching, what […]
It’s Okay to Lie
In general, I’m pretty much an open book. You want to know something about me, just ask, I’ll probably tell you. That would be why I didn’t bristle when approached to write this blog; share my weekly inner musing with the internet – sure why not?! However, there are times in life where the truth […]
Therapy Through the Years
When I first became widowed, I had good friends and family practically begging me to go see a therapist or a grief counselor. Why? Because after a few months of me being widowed, they were sick of me talking to them, and crying constantly, and being depressed all the time, and they were probably sick […]
Blast From the Past
Thinking about these things today, I could not say precisely when I first began to check out from my work. However, I still vividly remember warming to the notion of retired life with Lee, who had bailed from her own work as soon as practicable. When she retired, Lee was not counting on falling deathly […]
Quiet Nights
I don’t sit alone very often. I could tell you it’s because I have 3 kids at home that I’m a solo parent to, but I think I’d be lying. The real reason I don’t sit alone is because I don’t like to, and I don’t want to. Friday night, I found myself sitting outside […]
Pool Party
Today we are having a pool party. Well, its a birthday party, out by our pool, on this 89 degree sunny summer day. My husband Nick’s son, Nicholas, turns 37 years old today. Nick very much wanted to throw him a party, which was planned well before we knew Nick would be having bypass surgery, […]
Collateral Damage
The other day I received a call from my friend Steve. I met Steve during high school; he is another charter member of the Frazier Thomas Band. We were very close friends until one day we were not. I won’t regale you with the specific reasons, suffice to say that we did not speak for […]
Untethered
Widowhood makes me feel untethered in so many ways. Sometimes, it’s the small things that make me feel so unattached. For me, adult communication is at the top of my list. As a young adult, I bloomed from a quiet shy girl into an extroverted woman. I have no problems telling stories, getting up in […]
Bad Widow Strikes Again
Im a bad widow. Again. Its starting to become a theme. Not only did I completely forget to write in here last Sunday, I also forgot to write in here the Sunday before that. Wow. I think we need to print a sign on my forehead that reads WRITE IN WIDOWS VOICE, and have it […]