In my first posting to this site back in the early winter of 2021 (February 4, 2021), entitled “Please allow me to introduce myself,” I described two of the existential issues I had to confront during the early days following Lee’s death: “So I was left to ponder the BIG QUESTIONS: Am I destined to […]
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But Still…
I’ve been going nuts with the business of living ever since I returned home on Sunday, following my final few days at Deer Tick Manor. As I a prepare tonight’s impromptu cookout for some neighbors, I’m afraid that this week’s blog offering has less meat on the bone than is typical. *** As for my […]
Sky full of stars.
This week when NASA released those new images of space, I immediately thought of Boris. I know that he would be intrigued and excited, but also he would have some sort of special insight…like, he already knew the images were going to be released because of some Reddit thread or he would know some obscure […]
Farewell Deer Tick Manor
Regular readers by now will be familiar with Deer Tick Manor, the semi-rural property that Lee and I acquired almost 20 years ago. On July 18th, I bid farewell to Deer Tick. By late afternoon on that date, the place should have new owners, who may call it by any name they wish. To help […]
Life Altered
So in preparing for my husbands upcoming triple bypass surgery, which will happen on July 20th, a few things have had to be changed or altered in order for us to make sure he is following doctors orders of getting rest, not lifting things, and not doing anything too stressful or strenuous. Nick had purchased […]
Three Old Men
My close friendships with Eric and Bob go back to our high school days. We have remained so throughout these many years, despite the changes in our respective personal circumstances that inevitably occur over the course of a lifetime: wives and girlfriends, children and grandchildren, jobs and careers, and health being chief among these. The […]
o grief
you trip me up o grief you sneak up on me you fool me you trip me up o grief you catch me unawares you pretend a thing is okay you trick me o grief you seem to be at a distance you move in close you sabotage me o grief gimme […]
A Second Chance
So there has been something going on that is a very big deal that I have wanted to talk about for quite awhile in here, but until now, I didnt have my husband Nick’s permission to do so. Why his permission? Because the “something” is about him and his health. Unlike me, when something significant […]
Message in a Bottle
As you knew would happen, it’s been an emotional couple of weeks for me as I approach the second anniversary of the date of your passing. I have no clue where to find you or, really, any way to know whether you exist apart. I do know that when I look up into the night […]
Its not Fair!
There are times in this widowed life where I just want to scream at the universe or God or whatever randomness helps things to happen to people … ITS NOT FAIR!!! Its not fair that a widowed acquaintance of mine who lost his wife to cancer just 3 years ago, is finally starting to get […]
The Good Ones
So its Fathers Day today. Always an emotional and complicated day. Over the years, this day has been one that I have carried with many mixed emotions. The sudden death of my husband Don, of course, comes to mind first. He was only 46 yrs old when he died, he always wanted to be a […]
Arrow of Time
I was married to Lee on June 12th, which was this past Sunday. Can I still say that June 12th is my anniversary? Or that June 12th was my anniversary? Should I say that June 12th would have been our anniversary? Using proper grammar can be daunting, especially when referring to a loved one who […]