What a rollercoaster of a week it has been. Last Friday was both Erik’s and the twins’ birthdays. I used to love this day. How special it was that they shared a birthday with their father. How special Erik felt that he got his legacies as a birthday gift. Now I am conflicted about this […]
Blog
No.
Yesterday I had a video call with some of the widows that I’ve met at Camp over the last few years. We usually keep in touch via text, but it was great to look at their faces instead of the text bubbles. Recently, one of us had solicited advice on how to handle a situation. […]
The Good Wife
There are a lot of weird thoughts that come into my head on the regular, as a person who has now been widowed for over a decade. The widowed mind is strange. Or maybe MY mind is just strange. I don’t know. What I DO know is my brain makes me laugh sometimes, and other […]
“Winding” My Own Business
It is hard for me to grasp that next month marks one year that I’ve posted here at The Widow’s Voice. Each one of the “Blogging Seven” – one writer for each day of the week – offers a personal account that has evolved around the circumstances that brought them (okay us) to the […]
Kinless
Lee’s death is a seminal event in my life. Her death can still trigger profound grief, yet I am simultaneously full of gratitude for our life together, which is preserved in happy memory. Without her, I deal daily with the reality that I am now over seventy years old and without a wife, or kids, […]
Seeking Solutions
Along the Path of Widowhood The cornerstone of my training as a doula comes from Birthing From Within, a process of childbirth education that originated from Pam England’s book, Birthing From Within: An Extraordinary Method of Childbirth Preparation. A few years into my training, I learned a process called Solution-Focused Dialogue. After a year’s practice […]
I Died Too
And another grief bomb hits. Earlier this week I went on my business as I normally do. The day-to-day activities that used to feel so impossible after Erik’s passing have now just become numbingly routine. But there I was standing in the middle of a grocery store with tears down my face again. A year […]
Our Melody
I heard our wedding song this week. It was only the second time I’ve heard it in the almost two and half years since Tony died. I usually just ask Alexa to play music and let her pick the genre. Well, this particular evening she chose 90’s country instead of something like P!nk. Tony liked […]
More Signs from Don
Before Don’s sudden death on that ordinary Wednesday back in July of 2011, I am not sure if I believed in signs or energy or souls or whatever you want to call it. Even now, all these years later and after the countless times Ive felt him close or felt an obvious Don-vibe happening, I […]
The “Write Tools” for Processing Grief
When I submitted my request to present at Camp Widow in Tampa and/or San Diego to Soaring Spirits International, I had a fairly good grasp of what I wanted to achieve with my presentation. When my proposal was accepted, however, I began to worry if what I had in mind would be beneficial to those […]
Outlets for our Grief
There are so many ways that I cope and deal with my grief, and it has evolved over time, and I have needed different things as other life stressors and changes have happened. I was already in therapy when Boris died, and I increased the number of times I was going, plus added an additional […]
Lola Turns Three
Lee died during the height of the pandemic, which the philosopher, Jonathan Lear, refers to as “the year of isolation,” long months before a vaccine was developed. (See https://news.uchicago.edu/why-mourning-essential-our-well-being-jonathan-lear.) It was a time of unprecedented uncertainty about our future. Everyone felt it. Not coincidentally, the pandemic also created unprecedented demand for animal companions. Suddenly breeders […]