Zoey said, “ I’m lucky to have you as my tutor.” And with that, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I had to look away from the camera that was connecting us via Zoom. I took a moment to gather myself before looking up and replying softly, thanks. She couldn’t know it, of […]
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In the Shadow of the Anniversary
Year Three My imagination moves toward the clouds when I think of Dan. In the early days, I explored the clouds with curiosity and searched for him there. This particular cloud image is meant to show me past the event, so I selected one with light, shadow, darkness and clouds. The death-day passed with hard […]
Memories Missed
This past weekend some of my in-laws visited; Erik’s dad, his stepmom, and his older brother. It’s always great to have them visit and the twins always love being around them. While they were only here for a short while we made the most of it. As a solo mom, planning anything even just for […]
No Time
As I started to get ready for bed tonight, I realized it was Monday and I haven’t yet written anything. Our days feel so packed right now I don’t find myself looking too far forward. Which is probably why I am squeezing these posts out so late. Just under the chaos of everything, I know […]
The Friends that Know
Yesterday we had our two times per month Soaring Spirits Regional Group meetup. There were about 10 of us or so, at a local library, where we have our own private room and we set out a long table for refreshments. Then, we sit and chat about everything. The conversation flows naturally each time. We […]
Great “Distractions”
The other week I had my annual check up with my doctor in Georgia. She said the numbers of my last round of blood work ups were so good she didn’t even order new tests. I try to make my physical health a priority so this was good to hear. It’s especially important for those […]
Ride the Wave
Grief is such a crazy emotion. What’s even crazier, is you could research it … study it … but it is such a complex and shape-shifting thing I find it pretty impossible to confine it in a tidy box. There is nothing “tidy” about grief. It’s messy. It’s complicated. It’s definitely not linear. It can […]
Roesbud
I brought the proposed estate documents my lawyer prepared to Arizona this past winter. With lots of free time, I planned to use some of it to review and revise. Now, it’s springtime. I’m back home. The trees and shrubs are sprouting leaves and flowers. The first annuals have pushed up through the soil; the […]
Traveling in the Land of Grief
Buried under too many things to mention, I reached out to Mary and asked her to use this blog from my earliest days of grief as a fill-in for Wednesday, April 10th. As I move toward the 3-Year Anniversary milestone, just days away, it was bittersweet reading this post from the beginning of my journey. I hope […]
The Little Things
A repost! I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between minutes and seconds and moments. Something as simple as how he used to hug me from behind as I […]
Preparing for the Deathiversary
The kids and I made a plan for what to do on the upcoming third anniversary of Tony’s death. One of the boys and I were by ourselves driving recently when he asked me about camping. If we were ever going camping again, at a specific location Tony loved. I told him we would go […]
Things That are Hard
Hello Everyone. Happy Sunday. Last week, I once again forgot to write in here. Life has been difficult lately. I promise to do better. Today is my husband Nick’s birthday. Today, despite the many complicated things we are facing and going through in our relationship, I am thankful to have met him, to have experienced […]