… whether you want them to or not. I mean —- obviously, right? I decided to carry forward with both Michele’s post and Michelle’s post. After Jim died I never considered removing my wedding rings. Never. I felt it would be on my finger forever. And for many, many months it was. And then one day ….. that feeling changed. I know that I am still…
hope for widows
La Vie en Rose
It’s just one of those days, where the sun can’t shine enough to get me out of this funk. One of those days where my bed held me hostage, and I didn’t mind. One of those days where I don’t feel like doing much, and you know what…………… I’m totally ok with that!I’ve learned that at first I dreaded these days, they were a reminder that not…
My Circle …
This picture is from our last vacation …. we went to Alaska in June of 2007. Jim died in December, 5 months later. I love this picture because it really “shows” us. We didn’t know it was being taken and were just enjoying some quiet time together. We held hands …. all of the time. I hate how empty my hand feels now. And this is the…
Still Looking for Signs
The weather on the day of Daniel’s funeral was spectacular. It was early November, 75 degrees and beautifully sunny. When they covered his grave, all of the funeral flowers were placed on top of it. Although the service was long over, family and friends still lingered, and no one seemed ready to leave. I know for me it was a finality I wasn’t yet…
The Inconsistency of Consistency ….
If there’s one thing you can count on while on this road through widowhood (and there’s not much!) ….. it’s how constantly inconsistent everything seems to be ……. especially, but not limited to, our emotions. I used to think I was crazy ….. early on the path. I mean, after the first few months of black blurriness, I started to emerge once…
Pennies from Heaven
Years ago I was walking with a friend and we came upon a dime lying on the ground. Seeming disappointed, she stooped to pick up the coin saying she thought it was a penny. When I asked why she wanted a penny, she looked up at me and said, “Don’t you know the story of pennies from heaven?” After I told her that I’d heard the phrase, but didn’t know…
Widows Loving Again
Dear Wonderful Widow. What did it feel like the first time someone reassured you that you would find love again, that you would find another man, and that it was just a matter of time? The first person who mentioned the possibility of a new love to me, well, I wanted to break her legs. Ok, maybe this is a little extreme, but it was only a few…
I am not alone.
Confession: I am not fun when hungry. When my hunger sets in I get a headache, become weak, and I’m grumpy! I can’t hide my hunger well, and David knew this better than anyone. The moment I became difficult he’d ask, “Have you eaten today?” “No.” His action? Drop everything and get my wife some food! David always prevented my “hunger monster” from…
Stronger than Death
I woke up the morning of January 8th, 2008 elated to be alive! I guess you can say David and I grew up together. We met when we were 12 years old. My soulmate. I’ve held only his strong hands, kissed only his beautiful lips, and slept next to only his gorgeous body. My husband always said I was a “happy” morning person and that morning was no…
Reflecting on the New Year
New Year’s Day is a reflective holiday for me. How would I rate last year overall? Are there any obvious changes that I can make to improve the coming year? When I look back at the past 365 days can I say that I am proud of the way I lived them? Self-reflection, however, is extremely challenging when grief has walked into your life unbidden and…