Sometimes I wonder, is life harder because I have been widowed or would have been just as hard in different ways if I had never been widowed? It’s a question I think on when I have long talks with friends who aren’t widowed, who are going through their own complex lives… complete with blended, divorced families and step kids or uncertainty in…
growth
Always Surprise Yourself
I think one of the hardest things about losing people we love, is that in a way, we lose a part of our own history when they die. Or at least, we lose one of our living, breathing connections to that history. Without those connections to the history of ourselves, I’m learning it can be easy to get lost. I think this has been especially hard…
Growth and the Gifts in Grief
Tomorrow marks the first day of the summer session for my eCourse that I am teaching now for the 3rd time. I create this class last year as a way to share much of what I had learned in my own grieving process about creativity. For four weeks, my students will be diving into lessons and creative prompts in writing, photography, and painting, with…
Evolving
Being that both Mike and I are both writers here, we do try to talk about our relationship as two widowed people, to share how this whole “chapter 2” thing can work. There are plenty of times this is awesome to write about – when we have things to share that show you how beautiful loving again can be. How beautiful it can be when two people…
Dew Drops and Sunshine
This week I have been filled with and unexpected strength, I have still cried almost every day but I feel strong within myself for the first time in a long time. I’ve struggled with insomnia since December. Generally waking two or three times a night. It probably doesn’t help that I don’t usually go to be till around 11 and with continuous…
My Goodbye Post
I found Soaring Spirits the day after my husband died from depression. I googled the term ‘suicide widow’ – reeling from shock that these strange words were now something I needed to make sense of. One of the links that I clicked contained the heart-felt words from a young widow named Melinda who had also lost her darling husband Sean to…
No Reason to Fear
Ever since that horrible day 4 years ago, I have been shoved into every imaginable situation of discomfort. Just like all of you. I’ve been thrust into an oblivion… a war zone of emotions… trying to fight my way through without even knowing which direction I am fighting towards. Fighting in the dark. Wandering. Scared. Trying to survive.
The Third Year
Tomorrow is my husband’s third anniversary. And, like so much of this third year, the lead up has felt very different to the previous two. So much so, in fact, that it started to scare me as I’ve been wondering if something is wrong with me, or if I’d slipped back into some kind of state of shock. Even now, I’m struggling to find the words to…
Thankful for the Progress
It was my birthday yesterday. My third since Dan died. Next Sunday will be his third anniversary. This period from our wedding anniversary five weeks ago to his death anniversary is my hardest time of the year. This birthday felt a bit different. My last two were very difficult, over-shadowed by the looming death anniversary and full of…
Missing Two Worlds – But Going Back to One
I’m writing this from an AirBNB apartment in the heart of New York City, a loooong way from my home in Brisbane, Australia. I flew out here for a holiday with a good friend (and fellow widow) after attending Camp Widow in San Diego last weekend, and we’ve been having a wonderful time. This was my third Camp Widow and while Kelly Lynn spoke about…
Still Healing, Still Growing
I’m sorry for the late post, I’m at Camp Widow in San Diego this weekend and while I usually post by 5pm Saturday when I’m in Australian but I forget that with the time difference here in the US, my deadline is midnight Friday! It’s been a very different Camp Widow experience for me so far. For the first time, I’m here with four of my Aussie…
Rebuilding Together
Our awesome Friday writer, Kelley Lynn, is having some technical difficulties today while attending Camp Widow West, so she’s asked me to write something in her place. I didn’t hesitate to help her out, even though I have other work to be writing on this morning that I’m actually a bit behind schedule on! Now, this got me thinking about the…