i met another one. this time, holding a baby just a few days past a month old. she was pregnant when her husband died.she was left in the place that so many of us have found ourselves. but i didn’t know that. not yet. … she smiled when we met, i smiled back, talking to her baby. then she told me. … i should be able to hide my…
camp widow
Alone Together
I just got off the phone with my good friend Dominic. We don’t talk to each other too often, maybe once a month, but when we do, I always feel so good. He lives up in the Bay Area, from where I moved from last year. We have been to many of the same places, and always have similar stories to share with each other. He’s originally from my new home…
as I remember
When telling a story, Jeff or I would occasionally correct each other’s rendition of the tale. Although I am always as truthful as possible, there were times when either of us would need a reminder of the facts of a past event and it was comforting to know that I could always ask him some small memory that was remembered by both of us. “How long…
One Size Fits All?
The relationships that I have formed with other widowed people are by far the quickest bonding experiences of my life. Somehow the kinship of loss has regularly transcended the other differences that are often obvious between me and a new widowed friend. Before Phil died there were a variety of things that might influence how long I spent getting…
Widow Humor
Being a widow is a lot of things. Scary. Sad. Lonely. Guilt-ridden. But an unexpected side effect of the loss of my spouse is the humor and hilarity. Maybe I was funny person before. Maybe it has been in me all along. But after spending time again this year at Camp Widow, my cheeks hurt from laughing….and I didn’t spend the time giggling at…
camp widow 2010
it started off much the same way it did the year before (in a bar), but i have to say that the 2010 version was even better than 2009. why? several reasons. first, i got to catch up with the folks i met last year. so much had changed for all of us, and i got the sense that even the reason we were there had changed. it’s not that we…
Feeling Safe ….
…. is exactly how I felt this past weekend. (Yes, this is another post about Camp Widow …. but I don’t think we can help it.) 🙂 I felt wonderfully safe and secure there. Among people that I already knew …. and among people that I had just met (which means that I have more Facebook friends!!). There are no strangers among widowed people.Only…
Together at Last!
I hadn’t really thought about it until Friday night, but at the Camp Widow welcome reception, it was decided we needed to get a photo of all of the widow’s voice bloggers. It occurred to me then that we’d never all been in the same place physically. Emotionally we are here on the blog daily. Physically? We’re spread across the country. The actual…
Grief-in-Action
I’m here at Camp Widow in San Diego. I videotaped the room full of us widows clapping. And now that I am trying to post it, I’m not sure it’s working. Frustration is on my shoulders, my wrinkled brow and scrunched up eyes. After an hour of searching and trying solutions, I don’t know if any of them will work and I feel defeated and completely…
Step Outside
I’m here at the 2010 Camp Widow in San Diego and having an amazing time thus far. In the amazing connections I’ve made in such a short time (it’s how we widows work…warp speed), I’ve been recalling something I’ve learned in the 3 years since my baby’s death, but is brought even more to the forefront in an environment such as this, where growth is…
those in the know
Today I begin my journey to the Soaring Spirit’s Loss Foundation’s Camp Widow. I feel as if I am running to the arms of dear friends…..although some of these people I have never met.I will spend my time with a couple of hundred people who know what widowhood is. Really know. Not an abstract idea that is hard to fully wrap your mind around until…
something I didn’t expect
on march 25th, 2008 i had more friends than i’d ever thought i’d have, and more family members than i remembered having.everyone i’d known throughout my life rallied around me in numbers i never could have expected, all of them ready to ready to help me clean my house, (as if i needed a clean house) to feed me (as if i could eat without puking)…