When Michele and I first met, we were each about 4ish months into the process of widowhood. We connected instantly via email, and eventually became phone friends, only to move onto being a daily touchstone in each other’s lives. We are separated by thousands of miles, but manage to connect in person at least 3 or 4 times a year. We were 36 went we…
camp widow
The Power of Two
Since I have been widowed, the single most helpful, comforting, hopeful, motivating experience for me has been meeting other widowed people. I can still recall the moment of relief that I felt when I first sat down for a long conversation with another widowed person. Words tumbled out of my mouth in a way they hadn’t before. Suddenly my pain,…
When Will You Be Done?
Lately I have been asked by more than one person when I think I might be done with this whole, “widow thing.” Hmmm…done. Well I guess that depends on the definition of done. See the thing is, I will always be widowed. Remarriage doesn’t erase my widowhood. Being happy doesn’t erase the memories I have of lying in bed dry heaving as I screamed in…
Come to Camp with Me!
I looked at the calendar last night and realized…I’m leaving for Camp Widow in 5 weeks. 5 weeks!!!! It seems like just yesterday I was packing my bags to head home from last year’s surprisingly fantastic weekend. I was expecting the weekend to be great, we had planned it for months and Michele can make anything fabulous. What I wasn’t expecting…
Missed But Not Forgotten
June 16, 2010 was a really busy day. In fact, the night before I was laughing about the fact that every minute of the next day was so scheduled that I felt like the day had flown by before it even began. These last few weeks have been packed with events, meetings, Camp Widow arrangements, packing to take the kids on a trip, the last day of school,…
In Awe
I have experienced using the word death, or the word grief, or the word widow and having people physically step away from me. I have been told that since I am young the death of my husband isn’t as large a tragedy as it might be if I were older, since I am sure to remarry. I have been asked whether or not I am “over” my husband. People have looked…
Wading Through
So it’s been one of those weeks, filled with wonderful things: Widow’s Rock Austin was a great time, with some great widows and friends of widows (thanks to all who came!!) and we raised money for Camp Widow 2010 (yay!!!); my sister surprised me at Widow’s Rock – she flew in unexpectedly from England for the event and will stay for a week; Grayson…
You
I have the very distinct honor of leading a group of the most compassionate people I have ever met. Really. When I tell someone what I do for a living, I am generally met with a questioning look and an awkward silence. Since I don’t look like a widow 😉 the person across from me generally spends a few seconds trying to figure out WHY I am the…
You Don’t Look Like a Widow….
I’ve heard that statement countless times in the past almost 4 years. I wondered early on, “what do widows look like then?” I knew what I thought they looked like before: old, black dress, and so very sad and lonely. Well, I had the sad and lonely part down pat. Old and a black dress? Not so much.At conference this year, I got a good glimpse of…
The Freedom To Be
Overheard in the hotel check-in line at the San Diego Marriott…”Did you hear that there is a WIDOWS conference here in the hotel this weekend?” The unspoken next line was most likely, who would want to go to a widows conference? Ugh. And don’t we look miserable? ;)Convincing people that this weekend would not be a downer was one of the most…
Next Stop Letterman…
OK, maybe I am exaggerating just a tad… But last weekend, the National Conference on Widowhood gave me the opportunity to step WAAAY outside of my comfort zone. Like, Way. This shy, insecure, risk-averse widow stood in front of a whole bunch of women and revealed herself. I wanted to give these fabulous, courageous and generous widows a few…
Peace
It’s surprising to me how much peace one can feel in the middle of a couple of hundred people. Yet that’s exactly what I felt at “Camp Widow” (love the nickname, M!). To be surrounded by so many women, and a great guy, who understand what I’m feeling before I have the words to describe it …… is very peaceful.It’s not that it was all sugar and…