Over the last week, I’ve been reflecting on friendship. When you lose your partner, often you also lose your best friend. Losing your best friend changes the dynamics of how you share information. There is no longer one person to call for everything. Throw in widow brain and you won’t even remember who you’ve told […]
Widowed
Three Widows and Grief
One of us was working too hard. The other was wobbling on the ladder of memories on her death-a-versary. Each of us with our long list of widow-worries and widowed woes showed up to help the other. Being together was unplanned. Beyond what one might expect, being together brought […]
So many holiday feels…
Here we are yet again. Knee-deep already in another holiday season. This one has been a little different than last. The twins are another year older and understanding more. The excitement and joy of the season for them is just as much, if not more this year. I find myself battling internally with trying to […]
Gearing Up for Christmas
I blinked and Thanksgiving was ages ago, and we are in the thick of Christmas. We’ve decorated the inside of the house, but I’ve made a few changes this year. It’s been so cold; I haven’t put up any outdoor decorations. At this point, I don’t think I will at all. I also didn’t put […]
“Uncage the Soul”
This week, a local artist I know lost her son to cancer. I had been watching his story with the disease unfold for a couple years. At one point in time he owned a video production company called, Uncage the Soul (the phrase was apparently one he used to sign correspondences while he was young […]
Some Days Are Like That
Trying to roll with it According to experts, fatigue is a very common physical symptom of grief, often experienced as extreme tiredness or exhaustion. This fatigue can manifest in waves and significantly impact daily functioning. –NHS, Cleveland Clinic, and WebMD Three things stand out for me in this quote: A common symptom in grief is […]
Sparkly Grief
It’s that time of year yet again. I feel conflicted yet I am trying so hard not to take away from the magic of this season for the twins. The holiday season this year seemed to creep up on me. I was so focused on getting ready for our trip in October that by the […]
Chiefs Love
This year I’ve been gifting the kids experiences for their birthdays instead of traditional presents. Friday, my youngest cashed in on his gift and I took him to his first ever NFL game. We spent our Black Friday tailgating and watching the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Las Vegas Raiders instead of shopping. Tony […]
Once Again
I Forgot You Left It was last Saturday night I was struggling with a writing goal a story that felt slightly out of reach Called a friend Drum she said I drummed for a time felt sleepy and went to bed at 6pm Awoke at 9:30pm but fell asleep again Awoke at […]
Daddy is Dead.
Last night was really tough. The twins and I were in our after-school routine, as we were most weekdays. I started the bath as usual and put one twin in after the next. As I began to wash Charlotte’s hair, Wyatt said to me, “I really really really want Daddy, Mommy. He’s taking foreverrrrrr to […]
Thanksgiving Sentiments
It’s Thanksgiving week in the US, and we are bombarded with messaging telling us how to feel. Well wishes telling us to be thankful, or to gather and enjoy each other. The first year, I was annoyed and angry. I wanted to scream when faced with messages of gratefulness. Do not tell me to be […]
The Story of Us
Through 179 blog posts. The image says life is the best story, to which I say, Yes. I believe that is true because death is a part of life. Dying inside happens repeatedly after realizing our person is never coming back. Living again is something we learn to do, small step by small […]