I once had a dream about hearing my heartbeat. What does it sound like? I wondered. Have I heard my heart beating today? Does it matter? I can’t say in real life that I notice my heart beating. Does it matter? In another space the musing continues: Is the beating of our […]
Newly Widowed
Water On Rock
A person’s life emerges from their experiences. The daily ups and downs craft our being like water on rock. We emerge—for better or worse—from countless decision points and random events that occur as we travel toward future. For most of us, the events of our lives are ours to ponder and not a matter of […]
Just because I “know” doesn’t mean I “remember”
Image of Ground Zero Memorial by Oleg Illarionov on Unsplash It’s a tricky thing, supporting others who have experienced great loss. Even when you yourself have experienced great loss. Even when you have experienced the “same” great loss, dammit. It’s a tricky thing because of so many tricky things. Tricky things like the natural human […]
The Dress
From the Funeral A cute black dress came forward right on time. I was shopping (alone) for something to wear to the funeral for my husband of fifty-one years, nine months. I don’t enjoy shopping, so procrastination prevailed until the 11th hour. This smart black dress with just the right amount of sleeve and buttons […]
Timelines and Revisions
A few years ago when I was working as a Substitute Teacher, or as some of us say, “Guest Educator” I recall a day spent as a librarian for a local elementary school. In addition to returning and choosing new books, each class spent time on an activity such as word search, cross word […]
Examining the Light Between Us
In 2021 I was gifted a book written by Laura Lynn Jackson named SIGNS: The Secret Language of the Universe. The author is a psychic medium who penned the New York Times bestseller The Light Between Us: Stories from Heaven, Lessons for the Living. I found Laura Lynne unique among other mediums I’d met. Before […]
Our Beating Hearts
It happened last night in a waking dream. The other day I was on a call about grief. In poetic prose, the speaker mentioned “hearing the beating of her heart.” She repeated that phrase at least three times. I wonder. . . is the beating of our hearts a reminder? Returning to her words, I […]
Camp Widow Serendipity . . .
… a story. It was September of 2022 in Denver at the local community college. A widow, finding no support options in Mississippi, arrives via a road trip where Soaring Spirits is offering a one-day program for widowed people. What was she thinking when she arrived? She did not know a soul and discovered the […]
How Lucky Are We?
The Wonder of a Camp for Widowed People (the sequel) It is truly a wonder that a camp for widowed people exists! In October 2021, after I attended my first camp, I wrote about it here. This is the sequel. Camp Widow is a safe place created by widowed people for widowed people. A place […]
Transformation
Days of the “goo” were common, in the first days of grief in spring 2021. Goo refers to what happens to caterpillars after they close themselves up in a cocoon. They liquify and live in the liminal space of “no longer this” and “not yet that” — I relate to those words. The transformation that […]
Working Woman Still
When Dan was alive he used to tell me I worked too hard. The word “work” mostly referred to one or another creative project in addition to my professional job. He was right. I don’t have great boundaries sometimes and the middle of the night, or the wee hours of the morning, are when I […]
A Story of Widowed Life
as told by the Nasturtiums Signs of spring are everywhere in Riverside, California. Today’s post is a story board, courtesy of a magical plant whose leaves are a story in and of themselves. Studying a nasturtium leaf brings to mind images of fairies hiding beneath, or tiny creatures using the leaf as an umbrella amid […]