This past week I had the privilege of attending one of my best friend’s wedding. Although I had anticipated the feelings that would accompany going to another wedding without Erik, I wasn’t quite prepared for what I felt those five days. As always, leaving the twins is always hard. The anxiety set in as I […]
Widowed Emotions
Where Is Dad
Each year since Tony died, I have taken the kids on a vacation the week between Christmas and New Years. We’ve been to Disney World, Jamaica, Mexico, and this year I took the boys on their first ever cruise. I find myself counting these vacations to remember how many holidays he’s missed. Traveling over the […]
A Write-ous Birthweek
The other day during a Zoom meeting, a colleague noted that most people stop reading at the third paragraph of articles and blog posts. I think about that as we adjust to a new year. I find myself reimagining ways to improve my writing approach and practice to increase focus and clarity. With so much […]
Weather Delays
I’m sorry, I missed my post last week. The kids and I traveled over the holiday break. We were supposed to be home Saturday night. As luck would have it, there was also ice and snow headed to our hometown Saturday. A few days earlier I moved our flight time up a few hours to […]
Route 66 and a Trip Around the Sun
The first week of any new year can bring an unsettling mix of relief, new direction and incentive, angst, apathy and procrastination. Even if your holiday season was emotionally challenging with some bouts of nostalgic melancholy, the quiet inertia of the post-holiday season can be a let down when the world asks us to […]
The Cycle of Time
And so begins another year. Another year of accepting a reality that looked so different than what I thought life would be. This year seemed to have started off so hectic. From another holiday season where it just felt like I was running on fumes trying to keep up with the world, yet still trying […]
Another New Year, Another Chapter Without You
As I sit here on New Year’s Eve reflecting on my day compared to all those past New Year’s Eves I can’t help but daydream about what we would be doing if you were still here today. Thinking about all our past memories and all those memories yet to be made that you will continue […]
Forgetting on Christmas
Bullet Points . . . My apologies for nearly missing my post this week. Here are my bullet points about how I find myself in the predicament of forgetting to show up on Widow’s Voice this week: Bullet points keep me ahead of sleep who stalks me. It is 10:42 pm PDT and I just […]
‘Tis the Tangled Lights
A repost – Merry Christmas Eve! And there goes the second December without Erik. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. December is always such a hard time. The holiday season starts with our wedding anniversary on the eve of Christmas Eve. This second year of celebrating the holidays without Erik hit me […]
Christmas Superheroes
Today is Christmas Eve Eve. As a solo parent, who is prone to overprogramming there is so much to do with so little time. I found myself trying to do it all today. I wrapped up work for the holidays, grabbed last minute stocking candy, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, packed the kids for Christmas, […]
Even Santa Can’t Do This
It has been a whirlwind of a season. When the holidays came around this year I told myself I would focus more on being present for the twins than worrying about to-do lists. I told myself I would focus on letting myself feel the grief I needed to during this time rather than pushing it […]
Friendship and Grief
Over the last week, I’ve been reflecting on friendship. When you lose your partner, often you also lose your best friend. Losing your best friend changes the dynamics of how you share information. There is no longer one person to call for everything. Throw in widow brain and you won’t even remember who you’ve told […]