I’m not sure when exactly it happened but something transpired in my life to make it seem like time itself was going faster. I know it’s some trick of the mind or perception, but it was probably sometime after the age of 40 where it just seemed like every time I turned around it was […]
Widowed Emotions
Some Days Are Worse Than Others
Just ask Alexander! A boy named Alexander had a lot to say about this: I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning, I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while […]
Birthday Blues
The twins and Erik’s birthday was this past weekend. Yes, all three of them have the exact same birthday. Leading up to this weekend has always been hard for me since Erik’s passing. I wanted so badly to be happy because it was my babies’ birthday, but trying to balance that of deep sadness that […]
Staying Busy
The last few years I’ve kept us extremely busy. Hey, at least I’m self-aware! Some of it is the stage of life I’m in with the kids. During the school year, the weekends and evenings are filled with homework, sports, and the various social functions that come with parenting school aged children. There are some […]
Raft Years
This past week marked an important milestone in my widowed process. It was a year ago on a hot August day, with only Quint by my side, that I made an appointment with a realtor to look at three properties in a small rural town in the Lake District of Central Florida two hours south […]
Camp Widow 2.0
We’re Hitting the Road! If you are brand new here you might be asking What is Camp Widow? “Camp Widow blends elements of three event styles: a conference format, an inspiring retreat, a reunion with great friends.” Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation My path to Camp Widow was immediate and logical. As a long-time […]
Well, my Daddy is Dead.
Yesterday Charlotte took me by surprise. As we were getting ready for a birthday party I had said something to her about pooping and out of nowhere and just randomly she responds to me by saying, “Well, my daddy is dead”. It stopped me right in my tracks. First, anytime I hear Daddy in our […]
Releasing Some Jealousy
I often notice couples’ togetherness as I travel the spaces of my life as a single person. That’s likely because I am not wholly comfortable in my singlehood. I am independent and capable of being solo. However, I enjoyed being married and partnered. When I spot a young couple drunk on love, I feel nostalgic. […]
Finding Family
Reunions of any kind can stir up all kinds of thoughts and feelings – happiness, nostalgia, a desire to connect, and inevitably sadness due to the fact that reunions can remind us of those who are no longer here with us. My parents met in New Jersey – my mom a coal miner’s daughter […]
Summer Memories
Can’t believe it’s already August as another year seems to be flying by here. August is the county fair month here and it always reminds me how much Mario loved sketchy carnival rides. He kind of had the same approach to those as regular amusement park rides, flying on airplanes, or anything else where the […]
Feeling all the Feels
How Grief Impacts Feelings At age 26, I received a helpful definition for feelings. You may be thinking that could be a bit late in life to receive information about something that impacts life on a daily basis and you would be right. Regardless of timing, I gratefully received this definition. “Feelings are spontaneous, inner […]
Never Alone
I remember my first Camp Widow like it was yesterday. It was around 8 months after Erik had passed. I was sitting on the same couch that I couldn’t seem to move from and had this overwhelming feeling that I was all alone. There wasn’t anyone in my circle that was a widow and at […]