Here we are yet again. Another year. Another death anniversary. As this week began, so did the replays. The replays of each day of this week leading up to Erik’s death. The replay of each detail. Each interaction. Each moment. My mind looking for something I might have missed. Running through the what-ifs. Looking, searching, […]
Widowed Anniversaries
To my Erik,
In two weeks it will be three years since you took your last breath. So much has changed since you’ve been gone, yet sometimes it feels as if it was still just yesterday. I still very much feel as if I’m in survival mode. Each day I put on a brave face for the twins […]
The Dark Day
A repost as we head into March! As we have now entered the dark month I find myself significantly more anxious during my days, more than I have been for a while. I feel like I have been trying so hard to not live in the days of 2022 leading to that dark day. It […]
Happy Adoptiversary, Jackson!
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. For the widowed, it can be a day as emotionally charged as anniversaries, holiday and birthdates. No matter where you are in your ongoing recovery process, these events can amp up feelings because they serve up so many memories. A year ago, my partner David, a major dog-lover, and I, welcomed […]
Sea of Serendipity
A repost! Whew! It has been a hectic few weeks. I feel like I’m always in survival go-go-go mode where I’m just going through the motions of doing things without really being fully present in what I’m doing. I guess it comes with the territory of being a solo parent. Lately, I’ve been trying to […]
‘Tis the Tangled Lights
A repost – Merry Christmas Eve! And there goes the second December without Erik. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. December is always such a hard time. The holiday season starts with our wedding anniversary on the eve of Christmas Eve. This second year of celebrating the holidays without Erik hit me […]
Three Widows and Grief
One of us was working too hard. The other was wobbling on the ladder of memories on her death-a-versary. Each of us with our long list of widow-worries and widowed woes showed up to help the other. Being together was unplanned. Beyond what one might expect, being together brought […]
So many holiday feels…
Here we are yet again. Knee-deep already in another holiday season. This one has been a little different than last. The twins are another year older and understanding more. The excitement and joy of the season for them is just as much, if not more this year. I find myself battling internally with trying to […]
Restoration and Renewal
I don’t think there’s been a time in my life when I’ve been so caught up in so many projects simultaneously and I no longer seem to have a measure of time. It was a Facebook Memory from my archives that made me realize that it was earlier this week that I’d moved to this […]
The Twenty-Eighth
Today, September 28, marks the 28th Wedding Anniversary of my late husband, Rich, and I. He would pass weeks later on the 28th of October. This time of year is filled with all those “trippy” memories and images. We’d left our new community and home in Southeast Georgia mid-September 2021 for a family wedding and […]
Forever 32
I found myself lying wide awake at 10:49 the Monday night before my birthday wishing that midnight just wouldn’t come. And that if it did, that my birthday wish would come true. That when that clock struck 12, I would find myself back in 2022 before what would become the worst day of our lives. […]
August Slipped Away
A repost! Join me next week to read about this year’s birthday. August has always been such a busy month in our lives. Our entire family’s birthdays. Summer plans, parties, trips…memories. This past month, mostly these past two weeks have been more of a rollercoaster than I remember last year being. This was the first […]