Just a few days ago, an archived Facebook photo from 2021 that I’d posted the Thanksgiving weekend four weeks after Rich’s passing, appeared in my Feed. At that time, my elderly mother had come to stay with me and although I truly wasn’t into holiday decorating, for her sake, I did. That memory made […]
Multiple Losses
Two Times …
I lost my husband 15 years ago. I lost my husband 8 weeks ago. Yes, both of those statements are true. Twice widowed. Not something most of us would choose willingly, is it? But I did. I was quite vocal about never dating after Vern died. I wrote about it in my blog, I shared […]
Getting into The Write Spirit
Last week I wrote about being inspired by my trip up North to New England for a visit with family. I relayed about how thrilling it was to tour the Clark Art Institute in Williamstown, Massachusetts and my visit to a gallery in town with some beautiful landscapes by local artists and how I wanted […]
Grief Does Not Take A Vacation During Vacation
It never fails to bum me out that I cannot / am no longer obligated to call my Mom when I am leaving for a trip, arrive at the first and subsequent destinations, and call her at least every couple days. She did not use a cell phone, so it always had to be a […]
Reminders of Intertwined Lives
Fire season in California means updating the emergency backpack in the car. Among the various obvious items I have in it, I also have items for my “elderly” parents – particularly for my Mom’s health needs. We live 8 blocks away from each other, and the times we have had to evacuate, we evacuate together. […]
Ready to Let Go of Tangible Reflections of their Love
Lynn was big on having (over the counter) meds on hand – allergy, flu, tummy ache, headache, etc. She had them organized in plastic bags that she carefully labeled with what they were for. I have struggled all these years with clutter cleaning, getting-rid-of, holding onto things until I am ready to let them go, […]
A Birthday Tribute to My Mom
Tomorrow, October 5th, would have brought the celebration of my mom’s 99th birthday. So many of my good friends lost their moms before they even reached age 30. I know they missed out on having their mothers there for so many family milestones, or just every day nice moments, phone conversations, shopping, lunches, and […]
Planting Roots
Last week’s post centered on how a log cabin in rural Northern Florida became my primary home and haven nearly two years after the passing of my husband. I became an official Florida resident earlier this year and recently transferred my homestead exemption to my most recent residence. With four dogs now, and an acre […]
Thanks for “Logging” in
I sometimes wonder if I’m not boring everyone with my abundant log cabin photos and posts about my experience of running off to live in the woods not long after Rich’s passing. It’s a major part of my post-widowed experience, and my processing, however, so I write on. Next week marks the two year anniversary […]
Keeping Their Memories Alive
Last Monday, CAMP WIDOW a Documentary, aired via PBS/Independent Lens. It’s a short form documentary that packs a depth of emotion, a glimpse into the heart of an event that unites the widowed in a way like no other. I attended, and had the honor to present at, Camp Widow San Diego in 2023, […]
Non “Magical Thinking”
For years after Lynn passed, I never shied away from “hard feelings” ie: sadness, anger, exhaustion, confusion, etc. If a feeling came along, I gave it a place to stay as long as it needed to. I had no filter with people either. If people asked “how was I doing,” I matter of factly told […]
Memorial Day Musings. Corpsman Up!
Another holiday weekend looms and I know even two day ordinary weekends bring emotional struggles for the widowed population. These occasions are often hollow reminders of what is no longer. No matter where we stand on the timeline of grief, none of us can escape the memories of past holidays, for better or worse, each […]