Last Monday, CAMP WIDOW a Documentary, aired via PBS/Independent Lens. It’s a short form documentary that packs a depth of emotion, a glimpse into the heart of an event that unites the widowed in a way like no other. I attended, and had the honor to present at, Camp Widow San Diego in 2023, one year after the Camp Widow feature was filmed and got to meet some of the individuals that are featured in this film. 

I imagine it is a bit overwhelming, if not scary, for those who haven’t experienced the specific loss of a spouse or significant other. If you watch the documentary you will note that widowhood is not defined by age, gender or a myriad of social or economic factors. The truth is, the non-widowed could be “us” at any given moment through any number of circumstances. We are the walking billboards of the fickleness of life and our well-made plans. 

In the documentary you will learn how someone like Michele Hernandez Neff, and her colleagues, took an idea to help others and developed an empire based on hope and encouragement after what has been defined as life’s most stressful loss. If you, a non-widowed reader, know someone struggling with this loss, please let them know about the offerings of Soaring Spirits, International. 

Recently I asked a number of people to be beta readers for a memoir I’ve written about my first three years of widowhood, and in particular how my progress has been greatly helped by the presence of canines. One good friend told me that she found my story enlightening and moving, but also horrifying as she found herself interjecting herself into my storyline. As a writer, this is positive feedback, but I do understand it can be a tough read. Although I have a light, and somewhat humorous approach to my subject matter, it is still something of which most of the uninitiated don’t want even think about. 

Here is the link to the Camp Widow documentary https://campwidow.org/documentary/. It is well-done and even if you aren’t a widowed person, it might help you to understand those who are while inspiring you to reach out to someone in need, many that suffer in silence even years later, but don’t want to burden others who can’t understand the lifelong impact of this profound loss. 

The loss of my husband is compounded by other losses. Each year around this time, I share a little of my late sister Manette’s life as her birthday falls this Tuesday on June 30th. I like to tell the story of how she “magically” acquired a horse when my family and I lived in Boulder, Colorado in 1973; an abused beautiful grey Arabian Quarter Horse Mix she fostered in the barn behind our rental home for nine months. 

She and I were a year apart and very close. When I left my job and residence in New York City in 1989, I moved back to Hackensack, NJ, to live with Manette and her son, Zac. It was a very special time as my entire family lived in the same town at the time. Manette passed in 2018 at 57 and Zac passed in May, 2022, just two days before his 40th birthday. He was like the son I never had and I treasure the time I lived with him when he was so young.

I still get the urge to pick up the phone for one of those calls with my sister that would end with bouts of laughter and plans for our next gathering. I knew her longer than anyone else, excluding my parents. Each day I speak to my “Spirit Team Six” as I refer to the six close family members no longer with me. I know they appreciate it when I share their lives with you and it helps me to carry on in a way that keeps them connected to me, so I will continue to do so. 

Have a safe and sound holiday. Take precaution with your pets that often don’t necessarily love the boom of those celebrations.