I’m kind of the polar opposite to my departed spouse when it comes to health. Oh sure, I had some “party years” back when I was younger, but by the time I hit 30, I was pretty much over all of that. Looking back, I honestly think that was a healthy approach to do all […]
Blog
My Small, Odd Family
My nephew predictably had waited until Sunday afternoon to notify me that he was hosting a birthday dinner for his twelve-year-old daughter and her fourteen-year-old brother on Tuesday evening at the retirement home where their grandfather resides. I didn’t feel slighted. Members of my small, odd family tend to operate on such an ad hoc […]
Unexpected Weeping Session
Arrives as Gift It all started with a parrot, followed by two or more yapping chihuahuas. A din. The parrot screamed: Mom! Mom! Incessant barking sounded through the fence as loud, or louder, than a pack of small dogs sounding an alarm at close range. Were they being corralled? Or ostracized from being cozy […]
Sailing the Seas
Last year after we celebrated the twins’ birthday for the first year without Erik, I realized sitting in the quiet aftermath of the party that I did not want to do this anymore moving forward. I didn’t want to throw birthday parties the way we used to, without my husband, mostly as the twins share […]
Entering My Cat Lady Era
Welp. I am no longer a cat lady without any cats. A week and a half ago I caved and said yes to adopting a cat. The cat belonged to my friend’s mom who passed away a little over a month ago. My friend reached out after his mom took a turn for the worst. […]
From Angry to Thankful
Grief changes when life changes; and when life changes, grief changes. But maybe the biggest thing that constantly changes and evolves is US. If we want to. If we choose to. If we allow the grief to be that annoying friend that you just can’t seem to shake, instead of treating her as the enemy. As we […]
Olde Florida, New Traditions
I awoke this Saturday Morning realizing I hadn’t prepared a post for today. The onset of the Holiday Season, my Mom’s health issues in New York State that took me away for days and of course the moving process of the past few weeks has taken much of my time and energy. Last week I […]
The inevitable Question.
While the question can take many forms, the topic always revolves around moving on to a new relationship. I’ll preface this post by stating that everyone who has been widowed is unique. Some may want to move on and find someone new, some may not be ready to do that for quite some time, some […]
Thanksgiving Then and Now
As in most families, our Thanksgiving traditions had their own rhythms. We’d gather at mom and dads’ place around mid-afternoon. You could count on my sister to arrive on time except when she arrived early. I, on the other hand, at least while I remained unmarried, could be counted upon to shuffle by later. First […]
the seed of me
what shape waits . . . the shape of what was what is what will be transformation. how am I different? or the same? in the seed of you . . . the seed of me of sorrow of grief of survival of resilience of gratitude i am the seed of yesterdays i am the […]
Colder Weather
With my second Thanksgiving without Erik right around the corner, I find myself getting multiple flashbacks of all our past Thanksgivings. Thanksgiving was the first time I introduced Erik to my family a decade ago. The thought of another year with an empty seat with his name on it sets in more this second time […]
Church of Beginnings and Endings
About three weeks ago, I attended a funeral at the church where Tony and I were married. It was the first time I had been in that church since his passing. The service that day was for one our close friend’s mother. So I was there in a supporting role versus a griever. As I […]