Z was the first person I met at the new high school where, as a senior, I was enrolled after my folks relocated from the city to the suburbs. This wasn’t an easy transition for me as it meant leaving behind longtime classmates and friends to start over at a place where I had no […]
Blog
Common Feelings and Attitudes
Along the Path of Grief [COMMUNITY: Part 2] The role of feelings in grief is huge. Feelings impact us when they are present, absent, strong, subtle, frozen, overwhelming, invisible, or constantly changing. The famous writer, C.S.Lewis, describes the changing nature of feelings through his own experience. “No one ever told me that grief […]
Managing the Storm
Ever since Erik’s passing I’ve had a hard time finding something just for myself. Something that would take my mind off grieving just for a little bit, but also something I could look forward to that wasn’t just obligations of daily life. Around the 6 month mark, people started telling me, “You need to start […]
The Duality of Living
It is hard work, but it’s so important to find duality in our widowed lives. Sadness and Happiness. Grief and Joy. Heartache and Love. Sorrow and Wonder. I remember getting a piece of advice right after Tony died that came via another widow. That advice was to cry when you need to but don’t let […]
Just Peace, Please
Who else has been on this path – this grief tsunami – for a whole bunch of years now, like me? Who else has been living in the AFTERMATH of loss for some time, and has felt a significant change in what things are important to them, now, today, in this life? Who else has […]
When All is “Write” in The World
With a birthday that occurred on a Sunday this year, I’ve regarded this past week as Birth Week. And it has been a good one. For me, communicating and feeling the good vibes of friends, family members and colleagues is the greatest gift of all. I’ve spent a part of each day thanking those who […]
Eras, Part I
It seems like another lifetime ago. Some people separate their life into decades, which I used to do. I rather like the word “era” now. The dictionary defines that as, a long and distinct period of history with a particular feature or characteristic, and I think that fits, although I don’t necessarily agree that the […]
On the Road Redux
Lola the pup and I are en route to our winter quarters. It was frigid the morning we left home. Fortunately, the cold that followed us seems to be dissipating here in Oklahoma City. I apologize that I don’t have a fresh piece for this week. However, I assure you that the one I published […]
Considering the Impossible
and Finding Possibility [COMMUNITY: Part 1] You Don’t Move On But you must move ‘with’ you must shake hands with Grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her […]
Butterfly Fly Away
A repost! Last week I attended what I thought was my first funeral since Erik’s funeral. As I was driving up this cemetery hill something looked all too familiar. Then the flashback came. My cousin and I had driven up a similar hill for another funeral just a little over a month after Erik’s passing. […]
One Thousand Days
Today marks 1,000 days since Tony died. 999 days I’ve woken up as a widow. I have a countdown app on my phone. The kind most people use to enter fun things, like upcoming vacations or special events. I do use it for those things, but awhile back I also discovered that it would count […]
Tripping Around the Sun
I’m posting this on what I call Birth Eve, the day before my birthday. It’s been a busy time on many fronts leading up to the “Big Day”. Last week I saw my first snow while visiting family in Upstate New York. I think it had been five years since I’d last experienced that cold […]