“Today, March 26, 2024, the moon is 16 days old and is entering the waning gibbous phase of its lunar cycle. It is 98% illuminated.” — Space.com This morning I stepped out the back door and came face to face with the moon. It was around 5:30 a.m. The moon appeared full-ish tho’ my awareness […]
Blog
Dear Hubby
St. Patrick’s Day 2024 marked two years since Erik took his last breath. This year seemed to be more challenging in different ways than I remembered year one being. It seemed to hit harder and more vivid. I was so much more aware of the situation and my feelings and everything that has happened since […]
200 Miles Solo
This weekend felt like a solo parenting marathon. The younger boys were both in a soccer tournament with three games each. Additionally, the youngest was also in a baseball tournament with four games. Feels like one of those grade school math word problems! The answer is, the boys had 10 sports games total. Strangely, only […]
the After
The aftermath of loss can be filled with many things. Exhaustion, pain, tears, hope, hopelessness, guilt, new friends, new perspective, more exhaustion, confusion, identity crisis, and so much more. The aftermath of coming home after a Camp Widow weekend experience can be filled with some of those same things. Going to Tampa and giving my […]
The “He(a)ling” Power of The Paw
My mom passed just a little over a month ago and I’m feeling that loss more strongly these days. It seems to compound the other losses experienced by myself and my family over the past two and a half years. I especially feel it in the early evening when she’d always call me like clockwork. […]
Another Trip Around The Sun
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately. I go through phases like this where I turn inward and time travel through my past. Sometimes I’ll be able to almost relive moments in time in my mind. I can remember the smallest of details from days even when I was a small child. I’m not sure why […]
Re-post (Again)
Last year around this same time I first reprinted the post below (with commentary). It seemed the right time and I can assure you that it was heartfelt. Not much has changed. Lola and I are back on the road this week. The one thing I would add is that this year marks Lee’s milestone […]
The Art of Camp Widow
I choose art media like I choose sandwiches. I go with my favorite. The sure thing. What I love the most — Collage. Creating through collage requires bringing many things together into a whole. Like community, it feels like “Here comes everybody!” or, better, “Here come all the things.” This was Camp Widow Tampa, 2024. […]
Managing the Storm
A repost! Ever since Erik’s passing I’ve had a hard time finding something just for myself. Something that would take my mind off grieving just for a little bit, but also something I could look forward to that wasn’t just obligations of daily life. Around the 6 month mark, people started telling me, “You need […]
When it Rains it Pours
What a week! Sometimes, life just piles it on, doesn’t it? Last week, was spring break so the kids were home all week. I didn’t take any time off work, so we did our best to balance it all. They ran a little feral through the neighborhood with their friends. I had to replenish the […]
Green Lights Ahead
This weekend some widowed individuals will be attending Camp Widow in Tampa, Florida. I wish the organizers and all the attendees an inspiring and comforting event. The last official weekend-long Camp Widow will take place in San Diego, CA in July. My experience there last year as a first-time camper and presenter was definitely a […]
If Only
Spring is here in Southern Oregon and today is one of those perfect type of days. It’s about 60 degrees and sunny at 6pm. The sky is a rich shade of blue, making me long for warm summer days to come. I’m currently sitting on my deck. On one of the chairs next to me […]