I received the parchment last week for a course I started about 18 months ago. No formal graduation, just a small package in the mail. Additional studies over and above my university studies. It’s the first thing I’ve done from beginning to end since Ian died. Wholly and completely without him. Concept to completion. I started it because…
aussie widow
My Love for Sydney
Today, I’m writing to you from Sydney, Australia, where I’m in town visiting my in-laws for an early Christmas celebration. I’m one of those lucky widows who has wonderful, supportive parents-in-law. Our already healthy relationship only grew stronger after Dan died, as we found comfort, strength and support in each other. Sydney has always held…
Attempt at a Christmas Tradition
Sunday marked two and a half years without Ian. The first year, I decided to mark the date with a visit to a iconic local Christmas light display – do something nice with John on the day that we’d done with Ian. It’s something we’ve done each Christmas since. Well, attempted to. This year’s attempt was not as disastrous as last year, but not…
Redecorating
Things around the house are starting to look quite a bit different from when Ian was here. Use of rooms has been shuffled. Furniture re-arranged in various rooms. I got extra kitchen cabinets installed six months after he died – a project Ian had started trying to get quotes for, but was having no luck what so ever. And now there a new paint…
Mummy, Why is Pup Crying?
For today’s post I’m not really writing wearing my ‘widow’ hat, but my ‘mother of young boy’ hat. But I probably wouldn’t have the same perspective on this situation if I were not widowed. This past week a young Australian sportsman, a cricketer, was injured on the field and passed away from a rare brain injury caused by the impact of the…
Taking the Rings Off
I passed another milestone this week, something I’ve been approaching and thinking about for a few months but have only now felt ready for – I took my wedding rings off. Well, to be more accurate, I moved them from my ring finger. I had my wedding band re-sized and it now sits on my middle finger alongside Dan’s wedding ring and a small…
Living with the Hole
A young widow in my on-line support group, who lost her husband to depression very recently, said something this week that really got me thinking. She had one of those moments that happen in the early days where you kind of forget your partner has gone – she picked up her phone to text him about something and then it hit her hard, she could never…
Knowing What I’m Doing
I’m a planner. Always have been. I was forward planning on potential outcomes throughout Ian’s illness. When it looked like he was going to survive, albeit severely disabled from a massive stroke, I was looking at house plans or for places to live near his mother’s nursing home in order to keep our family as close together as possible. Same…
What People Think
A family friend recently asked my sister how I was doing, and then seemed surprised when she replied that I’m still very sad a lot of the time and cry often. It got me thinking, if I don’t regularly remind the world that I’m missing Dan and still grieving him, will they assume I’ve ‘finished’ or was past that ‘phase’? In the months after his death…
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Like often happens when I read the rest of the writing team’s posts, Sarah’s post on Sunday struck a chord. I wonder when I’ll get to the point where pretty much the first thing I say to someone isn’t “I’m a widow; my husband died two and a half years ago” or some variation on the theme. And then changes just keep on happening around me that…
Inane Distractions
Recently, the cable through which my house receives both TV and internet had a major fault. It lasted 4 days. …and I nearly lost my marbles. Part of the reason was that I needed to log onto the work system to download the latest files for school, but part of the reason was that I have come to rely on the television to provide an inane,…
Taking time out
Self-care can be taking the time to enjoy the light and scent of a beautiful candleThis week I started out wanting to write about how difficult it’s been facing the onslaught of traditional and social media commentary on Robin Williams’ death, from the point of view of a suicide widow. I wanted to talk about how it felt to read the ignorant,…