We’re moving. September 16 the packers come. September 17 they take it all and move it to our new digs. I’ve been clearing out, getting rid of stuff, And bumping into him.On Thursday, the kids and I emptied out his closet. He had his own closet. It was such a tiny thing for such a big man. (6’6″) At four months, I got rid of all the clothes…
Widowed
Proposal
You placed it onto my finger and our eyes met….making the agreement that from that point on our souls would be eternally connected….a searing of two hearts into one…no matter what lay ahead. 6 years ago you asked me the question that taught me that risk was a shorter word for following one’s heart. Nothing has been more clear or absolute.
World’s Best Husband
I was at Denny’s restaurant on my lunch break, enjoying a turkey club sandwich, an iced tea, and reading the newspaper. Sitting in a booth by myself, still having another 35 minutes to go on my break, and kids away at school miles away from where I work. I was in a peaceful state. That’s when I heard it from the booth behind me.“Mike has…
They just don’t get it…
I make no secret of the fact that I want a permanent teaching gig at the kids’ school. I changed career a couple of years ago so that I could spend more time with my kids, and my aim has always been to work in a primary school, preferably the same one that the kids attend. But those jobs are hard to come by. So I took a position teaching maths…
Missed, Loved, and Remembered
Hi honey, Six years ago today you headed out the door for what would be your final bike ride. You checked the tires on your bike, oiled the chain, filled two water bottles, kissed me good-bye, left, came back for some unidentified thing (I still wonder what brought you back, and if those additional moments cost you your life), and then kissed me…
Another Ugly Four Letter Word
Everyone: Carl. Carl: Everyone. So there, now you’ve met. The last few weeks have been full of big changes for us. We’ve bought a new home, he moved into my house for a few weeks during the remodel of the new house, and now we’ve moved into our house together. The wedding is still a few months away, but well into the planning stages. Holy cow we…
Bunco
I just returned from a nice weekend in Orange County. My friends invited me to join them for the weekend, which included some surfing time for my son, and a bunco party for the adults. I was promised over and over what a good time I would have, and how it was an opportunity to meet more of their friends. When I first arrived we were trying to…
Sick, Clothes and Backwards
The last two days I’ve been sick. Fever. I found myself lying in my bed, the wrong way. Backwards (head where my feet usually are, feet where my head usually is) The fever is making me feel backwards. I’m preparing to move from the house the kids, Art and I have been in for 6 years. (Huh. The kids and I have been here for six, Art only 4.)…
Needed
The past two weeks have been a whirlwind, and I’m kind of getting acclimated on the occasions where they happen…and in a way enjoying the mayhem it brings. Last weekend was one of the best parts. We held an Inner Peace getaway for the amazing AWP ladies. From yoga to sailing to long nights of talking….it helped center me back in a place that…
melancholy bed linens
Written three years ago. 17 days after Jeff died… I have been sitting in the rocking chair in my room for a period of time each day staring at our bed and crying. I am trying to muster up the courage to wash the sheets. I tell myself, “Jeff would laugh at this. He’d think I was being silly and sentimental. They are just sheets. They aren’t him.”…
It Takes a Long Time ….
It takes a long time…. to get from there …. to here. It has taken me almost 4 years to get here. Four years that have seemed like one day …. and forty years …. all at the same time. Six years before Jim died he had an accident on his family’s farm, at Thanksgiving. As an aside, it seems that the big events in his life, and therefore, in…
Cliff Diving
Lately I’ve been taking some risks with my emotions. I don’t know if I’m feeling stronger, or that I am learning that memories can begin to heal me. For the longest time I didn’t look back to any of my prior writings. I put pictures and albums away, and have yet to unpack them from my move last year. Yet, in the last week I have begun opening some…