We’re almost three months into 2025 already and this is the first short trip away I’ve taken. My intention is to have a short trip every month, but it just doesn’t always work out. Now that my mom’s having a lot of new troubles, I feel like I won’t be able to take as many […]
Widowed
The Dreaded Week
Here we are yet again. Another year. Another death anniversary. As this week began, so did the replays. The replays of each day of this week leading up to Erik’s death. The replay of each detail. Each interaction. Each moment. My mind looking for something I might have missed. Running through the what-ifs. Looking, searching, […]
The Story of Three Mothers
and a Camp named Widow “Camp Widow is a gathering for widowed people by widowed people. Over the course of three days, attendees speak candidly about death, forge connections with others over shared experiences of loss, and find ways to navigate the tricky waters of grief. Founded by Michele Neff Hernandez, who suddenly became a […]
Home Alone
As a solo parent, every now and then I find my brain in the middle of a ‘what if’ spiral of paranoia. After the death of a partner, the mortality of ourselves and our loved ones lives closer to the surface. I know life can change in an instant. Friday night I found myself driving […]
Friday night ramblings …
Well, it’s technically still Friday, but apologies for the late post! I got sidetracked last night, which is usually my post writing time, by making a special trip over to my mom’s house after not hearing from her all day. She was fine, just having some computer difficulty which I was able to help out […]
Why Speak of it?
Why Speak of Them? Does it matter? As a widow of nearly four years, I wonder how many widowed people just tough-it-out and don’t reach out for help during their early days of widowhood. Or, perhaps they do, but they keep it private. It is possible to have professional grief therapy, counseling, or pastoral care […]
To my Erik,
In two weeks it will be three years since you took your last breath. So much has changed since you’ve been gone, yet sometimes it feels as if it was still just yesterday. I still very much feel as if I’m in survival mode. Each day I put on a brave face for the twins […]
Slideshow Selections
This is my last year having a kid in elementary school. Preparations have already begun for the year end celebration at the school. Our school hosts what they call the Fifth Grade Farewell. It’s a day of fun games and activities for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids, their teachers, and […]
The Physicality of Grief
I remember as soon as Mario passed away, I started having weird, unexpected pains. There were these stabbing type of head pains that I’d never really dealt with before. There were unusual body aches. I really didn’t know what to make of it, so naturally, I turned to searching on the internet – “can grief […]
Why I Return
to the Work of Grieving Grief work feels overwhelming. It takes courage to step toward the work with all the feelings in the way. Sadness that our person is not there. The strange dance of feeling hope and then feeling hopeless. I’m almost 4 years in now and I think the overwhelm is a normal […]
The Dark Day
A repost as we head into March! As we have now entered the dark month I find myself significantly more anxious during my days, more than I have been for a while. I feel like I have been trying so hard to not live in the days of 2022 leading to that dark day. It […]
What is in the Fridge
Last week I ordered a new refrigerator to replace the one Tony, and I purchased when our oldest was a toddler. It’s just an appliance, but that fridge has moved with us and been in my kitchen for about 14 years. Over the weekend I cleaned behind and under the old one. I found reminders […]