I’m back in Texas this week, after having visited Mike for two weeks. My last day there, we drove up to Niagara Falls to meet up with my sister and her family. It was her first time meeting him and his daughter Shelby, and it was wonderful to see how well he fit in. Again, just like with my friends, he fit into the picture eerily as well as Drew.
Widowed
Still Learning about Him
A dear friend of mine marked the third anniversary of her husband’s sudden death yesterday. This morning when she shared how the day had been, I was delighted and relieved to hear that she was able to find some joy amongst her sadness. She had decided to gather together with her husband’s friends for a dinner to celebrate his life. They’d…
On the road again…
I’m writing this from my parent’s home in Virginia…the house where I grew up, so many thousands of miles from where I now call home. In the past week I’ve also spent time in Austin for a business convention and New Orleans to visit my stepdaughter and her family. I am glad I could work in a visit to my folks while I’m on the…
Observation
I won’t delve any deeper into the spiritual aspects of loss other than to say that I believe that Megan can still witness where our lives are taking us. Last weekend, Shelby, Sarah and I drove to Buffalo to meet Sarah’s sister for lunch, and we decided to take a short trip to Niagara Falls from there, as Shelby had never been to them. I wrote…
Living on Memory Lane
For ten days, at a retreat centre in Shropshire, I put away my books, pens, and paper, and embraced the quiet. I did not rush to scribble down each passing thought. I did not seek the distraction and comfort of the books that called to me. I sat with what came, and let it flow through me. In that spacious and quiet place, I learned to set…
The First Big Departure
It’s official. Last night, I signed a lease agreement for the rental house. (As you can see, Mike’s daughter Shelby is just as excited as I am) So… as of the end of next month, I will be packing up everything I own and moving to Ohio. This whole thing is so surreal and honestly doesn’t feel real at all. The house is amazing… twice the size of…
What Not to Talk About on a First Date…
Over the past few months I’ve been on a couple of dates and it’s not been easy. I always hoped that when I felt ready to open my heart again, someone wonderful would cross my path, but so far it hasn’t happened like that My circle of friends is full of couples and I don’t meet many people through work, so like many modern women I…
So Long, Subaru
My car is dead. Mike and I bought our Subaru in 2005 anticipating the arrival of his girls on the island; at the time we had only his pickup truck – which I still have – so we needed more of a family car. It’s funny how cars hold such a sentimental value. I’ve been asked several times if I’d sell his truck: NO WAY. It’s old, dirty and…
Oh, the Places we Didn’t Go
As I move forward without Megan, I can’t help but think about things we did and trips we took together. I want to be able to share those memories, and relive some of those places with Shelby, and Sarah as well. Just because Megan and I enjoyed going to a particular place together doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t also share that with someone…
Fellow Grief Travellers
I learned the other day that my oldest brother and his wife are coming to visit, in November. They are going to Ireland, first, with their church, and then coming to spend a few days with me. It is the first time that a family member (besides my son) has come to see me, here in England, since I moved here 6 years ago. I am touched that he would…
Turning A New Page
I am sitting in my hotel room in Toronto writing… trying to find the best and most concise way to describe all that has happened in the past seven days of my life. I say “most concise” because I’ve got a bag to pack, and many wonderful widow friends to still say farewells to before leaving Camp Widow Toronto. In a nutshell, the past week has…
Suicide, my Life Sentence
This Thursday was World Suicide Prevention Day, which brought up a lot of mixed emotions for me. In the past 25 months since my husband’s death, I have grown and healed and taken many significant steps into my new life, however I don’t think I’ll ever reach the point where I stop wishing that I could have saved him. His depression was a…