Through Numbers This is my 85th blog post as a widow. By 71 years + 230 days, time marked 32 years since Dan’s first heart attack at age 39. When he died, we had been married for 18,913 days (50 years + 9 months) when no one thought these two crazy kids would make it […]
Widowed Holidays
‘Tis the Tangled Lights
And there goes the second December without Erik. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. December is always such a hard time. The holiday season starts with our wedding anniversary on the eve of Christmas Eve. This second year of celebrating the holidays without Erik hit me harder than I had expected. It […]
Christmas Past
There are certain days of the year we use to mark the passage of time. After losing someone that time either falls into the before or after loss category. I don’t know if it was always that way for me, but Christmas is now one of those days. Today marks our third Christmas without Tony. […]
The Natural Order of Things
Here we are a day before Christmas eve, and up until now, I hadn’t been inspired to write a new post. Recently I’d written about the passing of Lonnie DuPont (aka Callie Smith Grant) in August of this year. Lonnie was a Senior Acquisitions Editor at the Revell-Baker Publishing Group and I was honored to […]
The Holidays
Holiday time is often a real bummer when you’ve lost your spouse. Holidays seem to shine a brighter light on the fact that there is a missing person. When I first met Mario, he had grown to hate Christmas. I think he felt like after his parents divorced, there was just a lot of tension […]
Christmas Cheer “Condensed”
Awaiting stormy East Coast weather and settling in to write my weekly Post. I continue to coordinate with family at a distance as my mom faces post stroke challenges up in New York State which has been my recent primary focus. I often remind those who are assisting us that my mom lost her husband […]
Blue Christmas
This past week we did a few holiday activities. It seems I have been trying to fill my time as much as I can in the hopes that I don’t stop long enough to deeply feel what I’m feeling. I know this is probably not healthy, but the holiday season this year has been a […]
Tis The Season
It’s official, as a solo parent free time in December doesn’t exist. Thank goodness I put my humbug down last week because time is flying now. After I vented in my blog post last Monday about not getting the tree out yet. I pushed myself to drag the tree up from the basement. I enlisted […]
The Trees of Christmas Past and Future
This week I was able to head two hours north to retrieve my Christmas items to bring them to their new home. It is exciting to decorate and enjoy the holiday season in a new space, especially one that lends itself so perfectly to the season. Even without snow, a log home sets it […]
Yes, You Can
Lately, with the holiday season coming into full swing I’ve been feeling more and more overwhelmed. Another holiday season without Erik. Another holiday season where I’m the solo parent trying to create this magical joyful season for my kids when I feel very much the opposite. I’ve thought long and hard about scaling back Christmas. […]
Oh Christmas Tree
I know it is only December 4th, but I am struggling to catch the holiday spirit this year. I seem to be doing everything holiday related halfway. Most of the holiday décor is on display, but not the tree. A space has been cleared and the tree skirt has been sitting on the floor for […]
Unexpected Weeping Session
Arrives as Gift It all started with a parrot, followed by two or more yapping chihuahuas. A din. The parrot screamed: Mom! Mom! Incessant barking sounded through the fence as loud, or louder, than a pack of small dogs sounding an alarm at close range. Were they being corralled? Or ostracized from being cozy […]