And so begins another year. Another year of accepting a reality that looked so different than what I thought life would be. This year seemed to have started off so hectic. From another holiday season where it just felt like I was running on fumes trying to keep up with the world, yet still trying […]
Widowed Emotions
Another New Year, Another Chapter Without You
As I sit here on New Year’s Eve reflecting on my day compared to all those past New Year’s Eves I can’t help but daydream about what we would be doing if you were still here today. Thinking about all our past memories and all those memories yet to be made that you will continue […]
Forgetting on Christmas
Bullet Points . . . My apologies for nearly missing my post this week. Here are my bullet points about how I find myself in the predicament of forgetting to show up on Widow’s Voice this week: Bullet points keep me ahead of sleep who stalks me. It is 10:42 pm PDT and I just […]
‘Tis the Tangled Lights
A repost – Merry Christmas Eve! And there goes the second December without Erik. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. December is always such a hard time. The holiday season starts with our wedding anniversary on the eve of Christmas Eve. This second year of celebrating the holidays without Erik hit me […]
Christmas Superheroes
Today is Christmas Eve Eve. As a solo parent, who is prone to overprogramming there is so much to do with so little time. I found myself trying to do it all today. I wrapped up work for the holidays, grabbed last minute stocking candy, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, packed the kids for Christmas, […]
Even Santa Can’t Do This
It has been a whirlwind of a season. When the holidays came around this year I told myself I would focus more on being present for the twins than worrying about to-do lists. I told myself I would focus on letting myself feel the grief I needed to during this time rather than pushing it […]
Friendship and Grief
Over the last week, I’ve been reflecting on friendship. When you lose your partner, often you also lose your best friend. Losing your best friend changes the dynamics of how you share information. There is no longer one person to call for everything. Throw in widow brain and you won’t even remember who you’ve told […]
Taking Account at Year’s End
In my family, December is dying time. Mom passed away in December a few months before Lee and I married. I still can see my father crying softly during our wedding ceremony, sitting by himself, his wife of more than fifty years gone from his side. Thirteen years later, on a Sunday in December, Dad, […]
Three Widows and Grief
One of us was working too hard. The other was wobbling on the ladder of memories on her death-a-versary. Each of us with our long list of widow-worries and widowed woes showed up to help the other. Being together was unplanned. Beyond what one might expect, being together brought […]
So many holiday feels…
Here we are yet again. Knee-deep already in another holiday season. This one has been a little different than last. The twins are another year older and understanding more. The excitement and joy of the season for them is just as much, if not more this year. I find myself battling internally with trying to […]
Gearing Up for Christmas
I blinked and Thanksgiving was ages ago, and we are in the thick of Christmas. We’ve decorated the inside of the house, but I’ve made a few changes this year. It’s been so cold; I haven’t put up any outdoor decorations. At this point, I don’t think I will at all. I also didn’t put […]
Some Days Are Like That
Trying to roll with it According to experts, fatigue is a very common physical symptom of grief, often experienced as extreme tiredness or exhaustion. This fatigue can manifest in waves and significantly impact daily functioning. –NHS, Cleveland Clinic, and WebMD Three things stand out for me in this quote: A common symptom in grief is […]