What a world. The twins and I have been on back-to-back trips for the last few months. We recently just got back this past Saturday from a trip to Japan and South Korea and wow, what a trip it was. It was another bucketlist item that Erik and I had. As I continue to travel […]
Widowed Emotions
Death and Holidays
Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of Tony’s passing. In case you missed it, yesterday was also Easter. I have known and dreaded for a full year that these two events would coincide. About a month ago, I checked in with my kids about the date. Bringing the calendar to their attention and getting their thoughts […]
Day in Review
On the 4th Year of Re-membering A Day in Review Writing this post is the last ritual of a day of re-membering the life of Dan Neff. Beloved husband, papa, and grandfather. Greatly missed by many. A good man. After an online workshop in the morning, I went to the cemetery to find our […]
Our Lost Cat
Our cat has been missing for four days, and the anniversary of Tony’s death is in six days. Into that equation go ahead and add that my oldest will be 16 in two days. In summation, I am struggling. I feel like such a failure losing the cat, as the adult in the house it’s […]
Sixteen increments of 90 days
= A Very Long Time In just 13 days we arrive at the fourth anniversary of Dan’s death. Recently, I realized that there have been sixteen “90 day increments” since saying goodbye to my beloved. To honor this realization, I reposted my July 14th blog which I wrote exactly 90 days after his death. My […]
Squad Goals
A week ago, I was wrapping up a long weekend with my widow squad. Ten of us, who over the last 4 years, built a bond at Camp Widow San Diego. The Camp Widow format change was our catalyst to adjust how we show up for each other. For us, Camp had begun to serve […]
Three Reasons
Why It Works A few of us drove to Palm Springs this week to view Camp Widow: The Documentary at the AmDoc Filmfest. In spite of the fact that two of us have been to camp several times, we both cried during the film. Our companion, who has never been to camp, went home after […]
Mourning a Forest
In 2020, my late husband Rich and I purchased a lovely home in a gated community in Southeast Georgia in the quaint and historic city of St. Marys. We weren’t seeking the gated HOA lifestyle, in fact Rich disliked the idea, but we’d found a home with amenities that we’d never be able afford in […]
Self Evaluation, Day 1441
How am I doing now? . . . 1,441 days since you left. As I move into my fourth year of life without Dan, I wonder . . . how am I doing now? Although Kubler-Ross intended the stages of grief to describe someone facing a terminal diagnosis, her steps are commonly used as a […]
Wearing Green Again
Last Monday, should have been my 18th wedding anniversary. I had almost lost sight of its impending arrival. His death anniversary falls on Easter this year. Preparing for that had been taking up my extra grief mental load. In fact, when a friend texted me a few days before my anniversary to check in on […]
Hi ~ It’s so nice to meet you
Hello Fellow Wids! I live in gratitude to Soaring Spirits for having provided a safe environment to grieve in community, and the many opportunities to heal, grieve, celebrate, connect, all the things! I am excited to be the newest blogger, and I thank Kelley for the warm transition. She’s awesome! I look forward to sharing, and […]
At night, alone.
I haven’t actually written poetry in decades, but for whatever reason, tonight, I felt this. It popped into my head and I simply typed it out. At night, alone, the quite hum, Computers and all things left undone, A spark, a life, a light gone from. No TV on, No bottles clank, Just memories from […]