Widow's Voice

Forgetting on Christmas

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Bullet Points . . .

A woman's hand writing bullet points on a page.

My apologies for nearly missing my post this week. Here are my bullet points about how I find myself in the predicament of forgetting to show up on Widow’s Voice this week:

Bullet points keep me ahead of sleep who stalks me.

  • It is 10:42 pm PDT and I just realized that it is Wednesday.
  • Church midweek was a clue.
  • Neighbors’ trashcans at the curb, another clue.

So here I am, typing as the clock turns 11:00pm PDT, barely able to keep my eyes open.

 

Sometimes forgetting means progress.

  • As I moved toward year four without Dan, I was surprised to feel ready to host Christmas again after a four year hiatus.
  • It was a wonderful day of conversation, great food, laughter, and so many hugs.
  • At the end of the day, with my dog asleep at my feet, I poured a glass of whiskey and within just a few minutes, I remembered: It is Christmas Night AND it is Wednesday.

 

Life is quite different since Dan left.

  • I talked with him while preparing the house for 27 family members.
  • His presence was palpable.
  • I felt strong and capable, even when I fell behind schedule.
  • I asked for help and did not give up.
  • Everything came together just as I imagined it.

 

Tomorrow I will join a member from our regional group to meet a widower for breakfast who just found us. Then I’ll return to wash the new/old wine glasses someone painted by hand with Christmas images.

This is the life I am building with consciousness & intention.

I still have a gift to give

even when it arrives late.

 

Celebrating the holiday AND my progress!

Let’s keep going . . .

 

About Kathie Neff

Kathie Neff was widowed on April 15, 2021. She and her beloved husband, Dan, were high school sweethearts and enjoyed dancing and riding horses together. They lived in gratitude, hope and forgiveness for 50 years and nine months when Dan passed quietly late at night, surrounded by their seven children who, with Kathie, were caring for him in their family home.

Dan and Kathie have been a part of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits International since its inception, as members of Michele Neff Hernandez’s cadre of helpers from the Neff family.

Kathie believes strongly in the strength and bond that is the gift of community and brings a heart of love for all who have been affected by death and dying.

Long live love. XO