Even after almost three years, I rarely dream of Tony. I would venture to guess I’ve had no more than ten dreams of him since he passed. In the beginning, I remember falling asleep hopeful he’d make an appearance. Knowing I’d never again see him in the physical world had me craving a visit of […]
Widowed and Healing
Enter the Wood Dragon!
Happy Lunar New Year. This weekend, as millions mingle in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl, another event will be celebrated across the world on an even larger platform! At this moment, millions of people around the world are celebrating one of the year’s biggest festivals – Lunar New Year, which marks the first new moon […]
A Community of Widowed People
Powerful Medicine for Broken Hearts [COMMUNITY: Part 5] “What are you seeking?” they asked. “I just want to find normal again,” they answered. To survive the loss of the person with whom we thought, hoped, and planned to grow old with is the challenge of widowed people. Whether we were partnered […]
Rich’s Play List and a Lyrical Birthday Tribute
Tomorrow, February 4th, is Rich’s birthday. He was a music-loving Jersey Guy and just after his passing, I’d say “play me a song, Rich” when I’d start out on the road and turned on the radio. Soon there was a pattern, a constellation of songs, that would inevetibly come on over the airways and sometimes […]
What is Intentional Community?
Traveling the Path Together [COMMUNITY: Part 3] I experienced intentional community for the first time in 1979. It changed my life. “Some come to talk, others come to listen,” the leader said. “Most do a bit of both. Engage here in whatever way feels comfortable for you. We’re glad you’re here.” […]
Flight Down Memory Lane
Sometimes I don’t actively realize how hard it would be to re-visit a place that I’ve been with Erik. And we have been to so many places so how can I possibly avoid all of them? I can’t. This past weekend I flew to Hawaii for my best friend’s birthday trip. The last time I […]
Stopping to Refuel
I’ve enjoyed the bit of cold temperatures that we “endured” for a few weeks in Central Florida. Cold is relative state. While my friends and family in the north deal with temps in the 30s, a “cold” day here is in the low 50s, with 30s in the evening, but that’s fleeting. But here we […]
Common Feelings and Attitudes
Along the Path of Grief [COMMUNITY: Part 2] The role of feelings in grief is huge. Feelings impact us when they are present, absent, strong, subtle, frozen, overwhelming, invisible, or constantly changing. The famous writer, C.S.Lewis, describes the changing nature of feelings through his own experience. “No one ever told me that grief […]
Managing the Storm
Ever since Erik’s passing I’ve had a hard time finding something just for myself. Something that would take my mind off grieving just for a little bit, but also something I could look forward to that wasn’t just obligations of daily life. Around the 6 month mark, people started telling me, “You need to start […]
The Duality of Living
It is hard work, but it’s so important to find duality in our widowed lives. Sadness and Happiness. Grief and Joy. Heartache and Love. Sorrow and Wonder. I remember getting a piece of advice right after Tony died that came via another widow. That advice was to cry when you need to but don’t let […]
When All is “Write” in The World
With a birthday that occurred on a Sunday this year, I’ve regarded this past week as Birth Week. And it has been a good one. For me, communicating and feeling the good vibes of friends, family members and colleagues is the greatest gift of all. I’ve spent a part of each day thanking those who […]
Considering the Impossible
and Finding Possibility [COMMUNITY: Part 1] You Don’t Move On But you must move ‘with’ you must shake hands with Grief, welcome her in, for she lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer her comfort. She is not the monster you first thought her […]