This week I turned the calendar to April and that means I’m facing a list of lasts we shared with Tony. The last time his closest friend came over to share a whiskey. The last Friday night steak he cooked us. The last time he sang happy birthday to any of our children. The […]
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I Miss Him Softly
The other night, Nick and I were flipping channels on the TV, and we stopped on an episode of “South Park.” It was mid-way through the episode, and it was immediately funny, so we ended up watching it to its completion. A little while later, Nick commented on how much I was laughing out loud […]
Recalling a Friend
A.P. was the imaginary producer behind the imaginary music created by our imaginary air guitar band—the Frazier Thomas Band—by virtue that he was first among us to own a car. We were young, still only semi-responsible. Over the course of several years, we covered a lot of ground together, both literally and figuratively. These friendships […]
Camp Widow Tampa
Day One – Weeping Without any apparent reason, on the morning of Camp Widow Tampa, I awoke weeping. There was no bad dream. No expectation of trouble. Not even a recognition that I was going to a place named Camp Widow. Weeping was the prominent emotion that first day. In searching for reasons, I admitted […]
Too Tired to “Widow” today …
Michele posted earlier on her FB page about the idea of giving ourselves grace and also giving this post-loss version of ourselves credit for all that we do. So today Im giving myself grace and forgiveness that Im hours late writing this, that Im totally exhausted, and that I dont much feel like “widow-ing” today. […]
You Can’t Take It With You
On Tuesday, I was up and out of bed earlier than usual. Raising a shade and looking out a window, I saw that it was not yet fully light outside. I was preparing coffee when I heard a soft knocking at my back door, which startled me. Because of the early hour, I asked suspiciously, […]
Tampa Bound
This Thursday, I will be flying from Boston to Tampa, Florida (fingers crossed) for one of my favorite events to both attend and present at: Camp Widow. The last Camp Widow in Tampa was back in 2019. Then, about two years ago this week, the pandemic began, and it slowly became obvious that we would […]
Our Stories
I eagerly read the weekly postings of my fellow authors on this site. In the past week, for example, one writer bid a hopeful adieu to her readers, announcing that she is ready to resume living forward; meanwhile, another writer declared he is going to bid adieu to feelings of personal guilt associated with the […]
Are Signs Real? Who Cares!
In the past decade of years that I’ve “put in” as a widowed person, one thing I have noticed time and again is the endless debate about seeing “signs” from our loved ones who have died. There are so many theories about this, and so many opinions, and those in the widowed community that I […]
The Kitchen Sink
As you may recall, when we left off I was completing the last-minute preparations for my departure to sunnier, warmer climes for a hard-earned, albeit too brief, holiday. Although I was intending to regale you with stories from the West Coast and the beautiful island of Kauai, instead I restart with this account of my […]
Winds of Change – Part of living
I originally wrote this blog five years ago on February12, 2018 to be exact. If you have followed my writing, reading this, you will recognize the evolution of grief. Over the years, the content of my writing has changed along with the tone of my grief. This blog highlights how grief can change with time.
As always, I hope my blog helps; and I think those who are just beginning down the path of grief will especially relate to the words I wrote so long ago.
The Vacuum
When I was first widowed back in July of 2011, and for a long time after, lots and lots of people suggested writing as a coping tool for the grief. People said to write down all my thoughts, my emotions, all of it. Some people suggested writing letters or notes to Don himself, to continue […]