When something tragic happens, everyone seems to know about it. You expect your core and extended people to know your story. I often forget how far-reaching bad news can be. How, in the age of social media and the internet it doesn’t take long for news to spread. It spreads far beyond what we even […]
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Decades
Today is my parents wedding anniversary. 57 years together, so far. Today is also the anniversary of the day that Don Shepherd moved in with me, and packed up his life from Florida and left it to take a risk on a life with me, in New Jersey, just minutes outside NYC. He drove his […]
Not Quite Arrived
By the time I exit the State of Missouri I’ve come to appreciate John Steinbeck’s astute observation, based on his own travels, that our country’s interstate highway system may be a fine solution for moving goods but it’s a lousy way to take in the countryside. Just past Joplin, Missouri, Interstate 40 crosses into the […]
Old Dreams, New Dreams
Yesterday I met up for coffee with someone who may very well be a colleague as a fellow grief-counselor, to ask her some questions about doing this work and all the tiny details involved. We sat there, two strangers both affected and changed by loss in completely different ways (she is a Buddhist, a minister, […]
On the Road
I had intended to publish last Thursday, as usual, but then experienced technical issues. Such are the vagaries of being off on the road. As you can see, I’m back online today and anxious to make up for lost time. *** After a wonderful extended visit with Robyn, we went our separate ways before dawn […]
Greek Tragedy
Losing Tony hasn’t really made me question who I am as a person, but it has made me question how I should spend my time. As a couple, we each participated in activities that the other person wouldn’t sign up for alone. I’ve been to NASCAR races, BBQ contests, and attempted to fish. None of […]
“Second Chapter” and other Widowed Vocabulary
So, much like other groups of people who are sharing a similar life experience, the widowed community at times has a language of its own when talking with each other. Some of this vocabulary has developed naturally over time and then spread through the community, and some of it was created or started by someone […]
The Death of Lisa Marie
This week, the world got the news about the sudden death of Lisa Marie Presley; the only child of the legendary Elvis Presley. So now her mom Priscilla is living on earth without her only child, just as Lisa Marie was living here on earth without her son Ben, who died by suicide in 2020. […]
Countdown
It was supposed to have been Costa Rica. Or it could have been Panama. Maybe Ecuador, or even Nicaragua. Our long planned journey of a lifetime: to experience the joys of eternal spring, high in the green coffee mountains of Boquete; or, to awaken at dawn in the Osa to the calls of the howlers […]
Vacationing Without Him
After the success of surprising my kids last year with a Christmas trip to Orlando, I decided to try it again this year. On Christmas morning, they woke up to a scavenger hunt that revealed we were going to Jamaica for 6 days over the holiday break. This time we had a few days before […]
Don-spired
In the eleven years since the sudden death of my husband, there are so many things I have learned and continue to learn about life, about death, about grief, and about many other things. I think the thing that I have come to learn the most and also over and over again, is that no […]
Comfort Food
First, there was his text wishing me a happy new year, then a call. My nephew Kevin said he wanted to get together for dinner. He wondered if I would be interested dining at a dismal Chinese restaurant located in a suburban strip mall where his grandfather –my dad—liked to go for family occasions. I […]