After I logged off work tonight, I felt that bubble rising. The one that fills me with self-doubt. My brain filling with intrusive thoughts because I am stretched thin. I don’t feel good at anything. The source of my stress right now is work. I’ve been given more responsibility, while also working to improve processes. […]
Car Troubles
Here’s a new one for me, I cried dropping my car off for a repair. I had it all worked out. After I dropped off my car, I would order an Uber to take me to my parents to pick up a spare vehicle. I handed over my keys and realized there was no waiting […]
The Duality of Living
It is hard work, but it’s so important to find duality in our widowed lives. Sadness and Happiness. Grief and Joy. Heartache and Love. Sorrow and Wonder. I remember getting a piece of advice right after Tony died that came via another widow. That advice was to cry when you need to but don’t let […]
One Thousand Days
Today marks 1,000 days since Tony died. 999 days I’ve woken up as a widow. I have a countdown app on my phone. The kind most people use to enter fun things, like upcoming vacations or special events. I do use it for those things, but awhile back I also discovered that it would count […]
Midnight Kisses
Last week the kids and I were on our annual holiday vacation. Since Tony’s death, I have taken the kids to Disney World, Beaches Jamaica, and now Xcaret Mexico over the holiday break. There are a variety of reasons vacationing this time of year works for us. The kids are out of school, I am […]
Christmas Past
There are certain days of the year we use to mark the passage of time. After losing someone that time either falls into the before or after loss category. I don’t know if it was always that way for me, but Christmas is now one of those days. Today marks our third Christmas without Tony. […]
Overindulgence
If I’m going to write my truth in full here, sometimes that means sharing the uglier side. Many of us have vices. They are not all healthy. I don’t want to condone it or judge it here, only share. Occasionally, I find myself in a situation where I have overindulged in alcohol. Where one drink […]
Tis The Season
It’s official, as a solo parent free time in December doesn’t exist. Thank goodness I put my humbug down last week because time is flying now. After I vented in my blog post last Monday about not getting the tree out yet. I pushed myself to drag the tree up from the basement. I enlisted […]
Oh Christmas Tree
I know it is only December 4th, but I am struggling to catch the holiday spirit this year. I seem to be doing everything holiday related halfway. Most of the holiday décor is on display, but not the tree. A space has been cleared and the tree skirt has been sitting on the floor for […]
Entering My Cat Lady Era
Welp. I am no longer a cat lady without any cats. A week and a half ago I caved and said yes to adopting a cat. The cat belonged to my friend’s mom who passed away a little over a month ago. My friend reached out after his mom took a turn for the worst. […]
Church of Beginnings and Endings
About three weeks ago, I attended a funeral at the church where Tony and I were married. It was the first time I had been in that church since his passing. The service that day was for one our close friend’s mother. So I was there in a supporting role versus a griever. As I […]
When They Call You Mrs
I don’t find myself in many situations where there is an opportunity for me to be addressed formerly. 99.9% of the time I answer to Emily and Mom. Thankfully, my boys haven’t started calling me Bruh…yet. Last week I was volunteering at the elementary school for the bookfair. The kids get to shop or browse […]