This was my second Mother’s Day as a solo parent, and I found it didn’t have the same rawness as last year when I was weeks into mourning. I found myself able to smile more and enjoy our families. Last weekend I took the boys shopping for me. They enjoyed pushing the cart through Target, […]
Reflecting on my April
Like everyone’s favorite Justin Timberlake meme, It’s Gonna Be May. Technically, it’s May 2nd but you know what I mean. And if it’s May, then that means I did it. I made it through April. Feels like there is a lot to reflect on over the last 30 days. I relived his last days and […]
Grief Is
This week was the first anniversary of Tony’s death. Despite the strange time warp of grief, I have pulled us along into the second year. One hour, one day, one week, one month at a time. I imagine the road ahead is counted in years instead of the grains of time, but time will tell. […]
Looking Forwards and Backwards
This weekend was a swirl of activities with soccer games, Easter and my oldest son turning 13. I didn’t have much time to look forward. So now it is Monday morning, and I am entering this week with trepidation. This is the week that will make it 365 days since Tony passed. I find myself […]
Grief and Karaoke
Going through grief is like singing karaoke in a bar. I know, you’re probably thinking this is ridiculous. Admittedly, I had this idea after a few vodka tonics, but I want to play this out. Saturday night our elementary school hosted an adult only trivia night. Afterwards, a large group of parents decided to go […]
Because…April…
This week I turned the calendar to April and that means I’m facing a list of lasts we shared with Tony. The last time his closest friend came over to share a whiskey. The last Friday night steak he cooked us. The last time he sang happy birthday to any of our children. The […]
Back in the Office
I went back into my office this week for a meeting and to work for a few hours. It was the first time I have been in the building to do actual work since March 12, 2020. In early 2021, I did go in to pack up my little cube so they could shift me […]
Shamrock Reflections
When you pick your wedding date, you never imagine that day could one day bring heartache. All the focus is on the celebration and the happy life you are building together. It never even crosses your mind that one of you could be left standing alone. Tony and I would have been married 15 years […]
My Widow Mantra
I was going to start with an introduction post as my first post, but I think you’ll get to know me in time. Plus, I don’t think I can write a full-on intro post without it feeling like I’m writing another eulogy, so here goes something different. I have never been a self-help, New Year’s […]