Yesterday, we painted a wall. To me, this was no ordinary wall, this was the last major wall in the downstairs of Mike’s house to change since Megan died. Now, when you look through the living room, dining and kitchen, all of it has a totally new color scheme from when she was living. Which leads me to talk about a very touchy aspect of…
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A New Beginning
I’m at a strange and new phase in my grief. My third wedding anniversary is looming on Thursday (all of which I’ve had to mark without Dan, because he died before we had the chance to celebrate one together). This is a time that is usually difficult and emotional. However… my whole compass for what is ‘normal’ in this world without him has…
Things That Never Were
Last night I had a beautiful dream. We, my husband Don and I, were at my brother’ house in Massachusetts. My parents were there too, and my brother and his wife Jen were outside jumping on their brand new trampoline with their two kids, Brian and Jillian, and our daughter, Isabella. Jillian and Isabella were laughing as they were being twirled…
Voices Carrying
I met another widow. Well; scratch that: I learned a new friend of mine is a widow. She is someone I’ve seen around occasionally at parties, but finally connected with individually this past month or so. Her first husband was killed in an accident when they were very young; she had two babies at the time, one was two, the other only three months…
Life as a Hologram~
Parallel universes. Time continuums. Beyond the veil. Those places where energy, which exists ad-infinitum, possibly continues to exist even after death. Where those we love who have died, might exist still. I think of all such possibilities in an effort to find a connection with Chuck, wondering if I might see him again. Someday. In some…
Choose to Trust
I’ve just returned from Arkansas with Sarah, after a 14 hour drive. It is with tired eyes that I briefly write this morning, but yet, a deliriously happy heart. We planned this trip to a tree house in Eureka Springs, AR over a year ago, not long after we met. Circumstances at the time meant that we needed to book this a year in advance,…
Making Plans Anyway
This morning I’m sitting some fifteen feet up in the air surrounded by woods, near the northern border of Arkansas, and it seems no accident that the book I brought with me to read is titled “The Gifts of Imperfection”. A few days ago, Mike and I made the 14 hour drive down to Eureka Springs. Why? To stay in a treehouse cottage, which has always…
The Family I Never Knew I Needed
I spent last weekend in Melbourne with about a dozen very dear friends. These women have only been in my life for a couple of years now, however it feels like I’ve known them my whole life. They see my soul, in its most bare and vulnerable state, a way that people who have known my most of my life will never understand. These are my widow…
A Light In the Dark – My Tribute to Soaring Spirits International
“Eight years ago today, Soaring Spirits was founded. The idea for this organization was written on a napkin.Personal experience inspired each of our founding board members to agree to serve. We felt sure that hope mattered, that access to hope could change the lives of widowed men and women.Together we set about creating a space built for…
Frozen In Place
A friend died this week – far too soon. A very dear, sisterly, special person I had known and loved for many years. Our friendship had suffered since Mike died…for a lot of reasons…they are personal and not for public airing. But there is no blame to pass around. Relationships can be complicated. And they can be further complicated when someone…
Pre-planning your Emotional Response to Death…Ain’t it Precious?
“When my husband goes, I’m not going to hang on to my grief. I’m celebrating the time I had with him and the memories. Each and every person deals with it in his or her way, but I don’t think my husband would want me to be sad and carry that burden. I told my husband if I go before him, re-marry with my blessing and don’t spend time…
Existence
“I would rather be ashes than dust!I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.The function of man is to live, not to exist.I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.I shall…