I do love writing for Widows Voice. It’s my saving grace each week. But I also struggle, many weeks, to come up with something to write here. Not because I have nothing to write about. But because there is so much to write about that words and sentences fail me.Each time I sit down to write, here or on my personal blog, or on my Happily…
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Reconnection
I am not a social animal normally. Megan would have to drag me out of the house, kicking and screaming, to get me to “go out” with anyone other than her and Shelby. I would casually suggest that the three of us just go do something on our own, or spend a relaxing evening at home watching movies or reading. It never really worked…I…
Another first without him
This time last year my daughter started kindergarten. It didn’t seem real that this monumental time was happening and her dad wasn’t there to see it. My heart always grieves heavier for my children when I think about all the things they are going to miss with their dad. So many footstones that will take place over their lifetime, and they will…
Here’s to Grief
Sometimes it’s pretty cool how grief can unify people. This past week has been an especially social one, and grief played a part in each and every situation that came up. Between all the busyness of life, neither Mike nor I have made much time for hanging out with friends since I moved almost a year ago. With many of his friends not local, and…
My Happiness List
Over the weekend I attended John’s son’s swimming lesson. He jumped off the diving board for the first time. Every first brings with it pride for my children along with the inevitable thought, John is missing out or we are missing out on experiencing this first with him. Whichever way you look at it, it’s unfair that he is not here. I left…
If You Werent Dead
The other day, a dear widower friend called me, and could immediately sense in my tone, that something was off. “What’s wrong?”, he said. “Nothing,” I answered, not because I was trying to be vague, but more because I couldn’t really identify a specific thing that was wrong. So he said: “Come on. I know you better than that. Something’s wrong. What…
Stepping Stones
My marriage to Mike wasn’t perfect. I mean come on…there is usually at least some issue that arises even in the happiest of partnerships. And we had plenty. Most of our concerns stemmed from his unhealthy eating habits and the results of that but we had other little annoying problems and arguments too. On the whole, though, we were happy. We…
Idle Thoughts instead of~
Idle thoughts because I feel like shit and can’t summon up the energy to form a full sentence~ Being sick sucks. Being sick while widowed sucks bigger. It adds to the sense of aloneness. Even when it’s only a head cold, but the exhaustion of living years without your person sets in at the same time and it becomes bigger than it is.It makes me…
The Things Inside
*(I am filling in for Mike today, as he had some emergencies at work come up that needed to be taken care of, and couldn’t fulfill his widowed blogging duties for today. And as everyone knows, if the widowed person cannot fulfill the widowed duties, another widowed Runner-Up steps in and fulfills those duties for them. So, here I am, and Mike will…
Keep the traditions alive
For the past 15 years my family and I have taken our vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC. When Joey and I started dating he started coming with us. Over the years of marriage and children it has become our family tradition as well. Last year we came a month after Joeys passing. I remember very little of the trip. I was constantly faking a smile and trying…
Thanks Death, Now I Have To…
This image perfectly sums up my post for today. There are times in our life when our path to somewhere ends, and from that moment on, we have to begin making decisions for another journey. We have to decide to stay on the shore, at the end of that life, or wade out into the unknown and swim toward some unknown future, trusting we will be able to…
Home Without Him
Moving went as smoothly as possible, I culled a lot of old belongings like toys, baby clothes and little knickknacks. The new apartment is fresh and has a positive ambiance about it. My positive mindset however took its time to catch up. I was undecided on whether or not I would hang John’s clothes in the wardrobe of the new house. As I happily…