Before I was a widower, father, husband, or IT manager, I was a Marine. 15 years ago, I was driving into my platoon’s shop, listening to Howard Stern, as I did every morning, when he suddenly stopped his usual schtick, and said that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. They bantered on a bit about it, and, at the time, no one really knew…
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This one life.
Whether you believe in God, reincarnation, or just nothing; this life, this one you are living right now, this is it. You will never again live this life as this person. You will never again live these experiences and learn these lessons. Every life is unique and so very special. Why do we as a society not see that? At some point in almost every…
The Springtime of my Heart
The crocus is a flower that blooms in early spring here in Ohio. So early in fact that it’s one of the first glimpses of spring you will see peeking through the colorless shell of winter. Year after year, these vibrant beauties bring with them the first moments of hope towards spring coming. Today as I am reflecting back, and as the seasons are…
Our First Father’s Day
For the past month it has been difficult to ignore the father’s day cards that existed on stands in shopping centres almost everywhere I looked. Mentally trying to prepare for the day “it’s just another day, no different from any other”. When the day arrived I woke with that mindset, it’s just another day. I called my dad to wish him…
A Path Built on Love
BIG. LIFE. CHANGES. I will be leaving NYC. I will be leaving my apartment, my teaching job of 16 years (that one hurts), and the greatest city in the world – the only city I have known and called “home” for the past 26 years, since I was 18 years old and moved here from small-town Groton, Massachusetts. I know this is the right decision for me at…
Whodathunkit?
This has been a week during which my world has been dominated by Biology 101. I have to smile as I type that, because I never, ever imagined I would be excited about studying biology, of all things. You have to know, my mom was a biologist and spent most of her career as a college level teacher. She’s retired now, but she was always telling me…
Loved Still, Loved Always~
These days that stretch and wind and turn and curve Nights that do the same This life filled with unknowing and uncertainty And grief and loss and wandering and wondering Roads that stretch and wind and turn and curve Thousands of miles since you died, my LoveThousands of hours and minutes Memories streaming past my window Streaming through me and…
Peanut Butter and Homework
Last week, Shelby started the fourth grade. This is the second school year that she has begun without Megan doting over every paper she brought home, every picture day, PTA meeting, or fundraiser flyer th at seems to be more frequent than homework. Her peanut butter sandwiches (which she eats every day for lunch, no matter how much we suggest…
My week
This week. I feel like this week is still so raw I’m not sure I can gather my thoughts. But I will try. Tuesday was my 8 year wedding anniversary. I took the kids to dinner and we had ice cream after. Sometimes I can still feel exactly where I would be if Joey was here. That night was like that for me. I was never super sad. I just sat back…
Today I am Ok But Not Everyday
Usually I would write a blog post separate from my personal blog for Widows Voice. However this week has been a rough one, we all have them. Rather than write a totally new post I want to share a post I wrote earlier in the week that shows the dark side of grief. The side that most feel they need to hide. I want to tell you, it’s ok to not be ok!…
My Davy Jones Moment
Please excuse me while I quote Marcia Brady from the famous episode of “The Brady Bunch”, where The Monkees Davy Jones kisses her cheek, and she holds it and declares: “I will never wash this cheek again.” Wednesday, August 31, 2016, my biggest crush in life, Harry Connick Jr., kissed my cheek. And hugged me. At least 3 times. And sang a song about…
Sharing Grief
One of the often-discussed topics between widowed people, at least in my circles, regards dating and other relationships we develop after the death of our husbands or wives. Only we widowed people know the challenges surrounding that issue, and each and every one of us has different ways of approaching it. Some widowed people choose never to date…