Summer is here. Shelby’s last day of school is tomorrow. Work is slowing down, after the “sales” season rolls into the “build” season for the company I work for. Weekends are a time for rest and relaxation. Time to get things done around the house, and to spend time in the woods, at the beach, or just taking in an overnight trip…
Blog
Take me home, to the place I belong..
This weekend we took our traditional camping trip with my parents. My oldest son as been going since he was two. It’s a big blue grass festival, which isn’t really my thing but it’s always a blast. We go up into the mountains where there is no wifi, no tv, no ac. Just you, the ones you love and nature. It’s easy to be happy up there. To forget…
Eight Years and Crying
I won’t lie, I’ve cried quite a lot the past few days. It may just be that time of the month making me extra emotional… but it’s also a lot more. It will be my anniversary in a few days… eight years ago next week is when I went on my first date with Drew. The following week, just seven days later, will be the 5th anniversary of his death.
Time Waits For No One
18 Months. 564 days. A year and a half has now passed by without him. It doesn’t feel like that long ago, but then again it does. Some days it feels like yesterday that we were sharing kisses. Other days our life feels like a sweet distant and faint memory. Some days it’s not real at all, as though we just lost contact somewhere along the way.
Dear Dead Husband …
Dear Dead Husband, It will be 6 years next month, since you died. So, I think that’s more than enough time to conclude the following: This widow thing? This “you being dead” thing? This “not what I signed up for” thing? Yeah. Not a fan. I’ve decided I don’t care for this. I will, of course, keep trodding along, keep finding new…
Killer Lonliness
Last week in my nutrition course we heard some amazing lectures about Blue Zones. If you don’t know what Blue Zones are, they are communities in various places around the globe that share common lifestyle and environmental factors that contribute to their populations being among the longest-lived and healthiest on the planet. These areas were first…
These Words of Love~
My dearest D, It’s been 4 years and one month since you left me. I know that you didn’t want to leave me. If it had been possible, you would have fought tooth and nail, with every breath in you, to stay with me. You couldn’t…the cancer that ate away at your body demanded nothing less than your life as its’ price. And on that April…
Crossing a Bridge That Never Will Be
Way back in September of 2012, Megan, Shelby and I took our first backpacking trip together. Shelby was only 5 years old, and Megan was almost two years past her lung transplant. I meticulously planned the trip, choosing the Blackbird Knob trail in the Dolly Sods Wilderness, in West Virginia. I was already intimately familiar with it, knowing…
The End of Another Chapter
When Joey passed away my kids went to a small preschool near where we live. I never imagined how important this place would become to me. The day after his accident my daughters teacher showed up at my house, I was a little surprised because her and I weren’t very close. But she said she felt like she needed to be there and would just sit if that…
Hugging Through the Fear
I am honestly not even certain what this has to do with being widowed, but it sure as hell has to do with death and loss and trauma and fear. Often times, I begin writing not knowing what will come and find that what needed to be cleansed comes to the surface on its own. I suppose, as someone who is learning to mother the child of a widowed person,…
Stranger
Have you ever …. Stared at your dead husband’s picture, the same one that’s been sitting on your nightstand every single day for over 5 years, and suddenly, for no real reason whatsoever, you don’t seem to recognize his face as his face? Have you ever …. Gone into the closet where you keep a few of his things, still, and taken out a…
Ripped Open
I had another series of thoughts planned for this week, but it will have to wait. The tragedy in Manchester just has me reeling. So many young girls lost, so many families in the horror of that grief right now. So many girls that will never grow up, never get married, never have families, never experience all that their lives had promised. So…